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j UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 

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HINTS 



FOR 



THE IiaFROVXliaiII7T 



OF 



EARLY EDUCATION 



NURSERY DISCIPLINE. 



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Last American, from the Fifth London Edition. 



SAZ.El¥r. 

JAMES R. BUFFUM. 

1826. 



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'^ I think I may sap, that, of aU the men ive meet with, 
nine parts of ten are what they are, good or evil, useful 
or not, by their education.'^ Locke. 

"To neglect beginnings is the fundamental error into 
which most parents fall.'^ 

"Parents wonder to taste the streams bitter, tvhen they 
themselves have poisoned the fountain. Locke. 



PRINTED BY J. D. GUSHING^ 

jt^ssex St. Salem. 



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PREFACE TO THIS EDITION. 



These "Hints," which were originally pre- 
pared by a lady in England, have passed through 
five editions in that country, and have been, 
more than once, republished in ours. They are 
now offered to the American public, in a style 
of execution much more worthy of their intrin- 
sic merit than any in which they have hitherto 
appeared amongst us. This edition has been 
carefully revised by the last London copy of the 
work ; and no alterations have been made, v.hich, 
as is believed, v/ould not receive the approba- 
tion of the Author. It is not here intended, 
for it is not thought to be necessary, to offer 
any elaborate encomium of the treatise itself. 
If, hovv^ever, it should be asked, what are its pe- 
culiar claims to notice, it may be rephed, that 
it is not embarrassed by a blind adherence to 
any pre-conceived and artificial system of edu- 
cation ; — that it is not rendered useless to the 
great mass of readers by over-refined or para- 
doxical speculation ; — that its topics are well 
chosen 5 — that its style is very simple and plain ;-- ^ 



4 PREFACE TO THIS EDITION'. 

that, In a word, it is distinguished by its practi- 
col character, and by its adaptation to the real 
objects of early education. You can scarcely 
read a page or a paragraph, that you do not 
perceive the results of a wise and judicious 
mother's experience, and that they are results 
which a wise and judicious mother would be 
glad to profit by. It is true, that in consequence 
of the narrow limits to which the author has 
confined herself, that some important subjects 
are but imperfectly treated. But her remarks, 
as far as they extend, even with respect to 
these, are just and true and useful. This edi- 
tion is sent abroad under the deep conviction 
that famihes are the first schools in the great 
discipline of hfe, — that lessons are to be learnt 
there w^hich can be learnt no where else, — and 
that parents, and especially mothers, are incom- 
parably the best and most effective instructers. 
Children, in the providence of God, are commit- 
ted to them, at that period of life, when the mind 
is open to those early impressions which ordina- 
rily sink deepest and last longest, and which, in 
most cases, constitute the elements of the future 
character. Mothers, moreover, are naturally 
the objects of a peculiar preference and love 
Avhich give to their counsels and example a most 
persuasive influence. It is, yet further, their es- 
pecial duty and privilege to preside habitually 
f^vev that home which is all the v/orld to a child x 



PREFACE TO THIS EDITION, O 

and they are enabled, in consequence, to watch 
over that most important, but too often neglected 
part of education, which is continually going on, 
and is operating very powerfully in early life, 
namely — incidental insti'uction — the instruction 
of current events, and of the circumstances in 
which we are placed. Let then mothers reflect 
that their responsibihty is commensurate with the 
peculiar opportunities which they enjoy of influ- 
encing the minds of their children. All that is 
sound and useful in the science and art of early 
education, deserves their peculiar attention. And 
if the following "Hints" should be found useful 
to any single mother, the humble labours of the 
editor in superintending this republication of 
them will be fully rewarded. 

.J. B. 

^ALEM, JANUARY, ^ '""^. 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE. 

Introduction 7 

General Principles of Education - - - - 13 

Truth and Sincerity - - - . 1'^ 

Authority and Obedience 27 

Rewards and Punishments 39 

Temper 49 

Justice -------- 55 

Harmony, Generosity, &c. - - - - - 58 

Tearfulness and Fortitude . - - - 67 

Independence -....- ^■SG 

Industry, Perseverance and Attention - - 92 

Vanity and Affectation - - - - - 106 

Delicacy -.-.-. . m 

Manners and Order - - - - - -116 

Reli'^ious Instruciion . - - . - 123 

Religious Habits - - -- - -137 

Conclusion - - - - - - 154 

Appendix -- - ' - - " 1l5'7 



INTRODUCTION 



It is with considerable diffidence, that the 
Writer offers to the attention of Mothers, and 
those engaged in the care and instruction of 
young children, the following Remarks ; though 
she hopes that their being the simple result of 
experience will compensate for their im.per- 
fections. 

The origion of this little w^ork was as follows : 
The Author having formed a few rules, as di- 
rections for her nurse-maid, in the management 
of her first child, committed them to paper, that 
they might be more clearly understood and re- 
membered ; and as she found these written 
rules beneficial in her own nursery, she conceiv^- 
ed they might prove useful to others. Whilst 
attempting, however, to improve and enlarge 
them, she was persuaded they touched upon so 



8 INTRODUCTION. 

many important points : tliey were so closely 
interwoven with the first principles of education: 
that they could not, with propriety, be addressed 
to those whose duly is more to obey than to 
rule : and that they were most hkely to be use- 
ful, as an assistance to a mother, in the exer- 
cise of her own authority ; in training those 
who are to act under her ; and in establishing 
the discipline of a nursery. Nor was it consid- 
ered incompatible with such an oliject to retain 
the one chapter which treats exclusively of " the 
motives that should influence a nurse ;" but 
this, being in some measure unconnected with 
the rest of the work, is placed in the Appendix. 
Those "are the golden hours of childhood," 
which are spent in the society of a good mother; 
and it is evident, that a mother cannot do full 
justice to her family, unless a considerable por- 
tion of her time be devoted to it. But, in the 
various engagements and duties of life, her chil- 
dren cannot be her exclusive object ; and, as 
an injurious influence, though but casually ex- 
erted, may counteract the effects of continued 
care ; it Is of no small importance that those, to 



INTRODUCTION. 9 

whom she con^des them, luhatever be their of- 
fice, should be fitted, as far as they are capable 
of it, to supply her place during her absence. 
They should therefore be chosen with caution 
and discretion, instructed in that part of educa- 
tion which devolves upon them, and their de- 
fects, as far as possible, remedied. 

Good education must be the result of one 
consistent and connected system ; and both the 
nursery and school-room will become scenes of 
insubordination or sources of disappointment, if 
authority be opposed to authority, and influence 
counteract influence. A judicious mother will, 
therefore, keep the reins in her own hands; she 
will be the only source of power ; and her as- 
sistants should exercise authority, whether more 
or less, simply as derived from her, and in sub- 
jection to her. If, at any time, they assume a 
power which does not belong to them ; if they 
take more than is given ; they outstep the 
bounds of duty, and, in that proportion diminish 
their value to the parent, and their usefulness to 
the children. On the other hand, an assistant 
?hould receive the unvarying support and sanc= 



W INTRODUCTION'. 

tion of a mother, whilst acting within the 
prescribed Hinits and exercising that pordon 
of authority, which has been confided to her. 
To lay down these limits — to determine what- 
should be this portion, requires an exercise of 
discretion on tlie part of the mother. It must 
depend upon the situation and character of those 
to whom she entrusts her children, and upon 
her own individual circumstances. 

The principles touched upon in the following 
Remarks may be apphed to education in gen- 
eral ; although they are brought forward with a 
more particular reference to the earlier periods 
of childhood. It is probable that education may 
be begun sooner than is generally supposed. 
The sympathies, even of infants, are quick, and 
powerfully affected by the manner, looks, and 
tones of voice, of those about them. Something 
therefore may, undoubtedly, be done towards in- 
fluencing the mind in the first two or three years 
of infancy ; but this will be effected more by 
avoiding what is hurtful, as irritation or alarm, 
than by aiming at premature excellence. The 
minds of children, as their bodies, are not to be 



INTRODUCTION. 11 

forced. We are to follow the leadings of na- 
ture — " to go her pace" — to be ever watchful, 
diligent, and alert, to make the best use of the 
opportunities and advantages which she throws 
m our way : for, it is to be remembered, that 
nature may be cramped and forced, rather than 
corrected and improved : and that, in every 
doubtful case, it is wise to incline to the lenient, 
rather than to the severe side of the question ; 
because an excess of freedom is safer than too 
much restraint. 



HINTS, &c. 



GENERAL PRINCIPLES OF 
EDUCATION. 

Success in Education depends, 

First, — More on Prevention than Cure ; 
more on securing our children from injury, 
than on forcing upon them what is right. If 
Ave wish, for instance, to render a child coura- 
geous, we shall effect it, not so much by urging 
and compelling him to feats of hardihood, as by 
guarding him from all impressions of terror, or 
from witnessing a weak and cowardly spirit in 
others. 

Secondly, — On Example, rather than on 
Precept and Advice. 

As the bodies of children are imperceptibly 

2 



14 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 

affected by the air they breathe, so are their 
minds by the moral atmosphere which surrounds 
them ; that is, the tone of character and gen- 
eral influence of those with whom they hve. 

Thirdly, — On forming Habits, rather than 
on inculcating Rules. 

It is little to tell a child what to do ; we 
must shew him how to do it, and see that it is 
done. It is nothing to enact laws, if we do not 
take care that they are put into practice, and 
adopted as habits. This is the chief business 
of education, and the most neglected ; for it is 
more easy to command, than to teach and en- 
force. For example ; a child will never know 
how to write by a set of rules however com- 
plete : the pen must be put mto his hand, and 
the power acquired by repeated efforts and 
contijiued practice. 

Fourthly, — On regulating our Conduct, with 
reference to the Formation of the Character 



OF EDUCATION. 15 

when matured, rather than hy confimng our 
Views to the Immediate Effect of our Labour. 

Premature acquirements, premature quick- 
ness of mind, premature feeling, and even pre- 
mature propriety of conduct, are not often the 
evidences of real strength of character, and are 
rarely followed by corresponding fruits in fu- 
ture hfe. 

Lastly, — On bearing in mind a just sense of 
the comparative Importance of the Objects at 
which we aim. 

As in the general conduct of life, it is the 
part of wisdom to sacrifice the less to the great- 
-er good ; so is this eminently the case in the 
subject before us. Now the primary, the es- 
sential object of education is this, — to form in 
children a religious habit of mind, founded on 
the divine principles of Christianity, and leading 
to the habitual exercise of practical virtue. 
To this, all other attainments are vv'holly subor- 
dinate. 

These points, though frequently referred to in 
the following Observations, are thus stated sep- 



16 PRINCIPLES OF EDUCATION. 

arately, that they may the more easily be kept 
in view, as fundamental principles of univer- 
sal application, in executing the particular di- 
rections that follow. 



TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 17 



TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 

Nothing, perhaps, is more beautiful, or 
more rare, than a character in which is no 
guile : Guile insinuates itself into our hearts 
and conduct to a degree of which we are little 
aware. JNIany who would be shocked at an 
actual breach of truth, are, notwithstanding, far 
from sincere in manner or conversation. The 
mode in which they speak of others, when ab- 
sent, is wholly inconsistent with their profes- 
sions to them, when present. They will relate 
a fact, not falsely, but leaning to that side which 
tells best for themselves ; they represent their 
own actions in the fairest colours ; they have an 
excuse ever ready for themselves, and, too of- 
ten, at the expense of others. Such conduct, 
if not coming under the character of direct false- 
hood, is certainly a species of deceit, to be se- 
verely condemned, and strictly guarded against, 
not only in ourselves, but in our children : for 
we shall find them early prone to art, and quick 
2* 



iS TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 

in imbibing it from others. It is not enougli. 
therefore, to speak the truth, our whole 
behaviour to them should be sincere, upright, 
fair, and without artifice ; and it is experience 
alone that can prove the excellent effects that 
w:ill result from such a course of conduct. Let 
all who are engaged in the care of children con- 
sider It a duty of primary, of essential impor- 
tance, never to deceive them, never to employ 
cumiing to gain their ends, or to spare present 
trouble. Let them not, for instance, to prevent 
a fit of crying, excite expectation of a pleasure 
which they are not certain can be procured ; 
or assure a child that the medicine he must 
take Is nice, when they know to the contrary. 
If a question be asked them, which they are 
unwilling or unable to answer, let them freely 
confess it, and beware of assuming power or 
knowledge which they do not possess ; for all 
artifice Is not only sinful, but is generally de- 
tected, even by children ; and we shall expe- 
rience the truth of the old proverb, " a cun- 
ning trick helps but once, and hinders ever 
after." No one who Is not experimentally ac- 



TRUTH AND SINCERITY. ID 

quainted with children, would conceive how 
clearly they distinguish between truth and ar- 
tifice ; or how readily they adopt these equiv-Q- 
cal expedients in their own behalf, which, they 
perceive, are practised against them. 

Great caution is required in making promises, 
and in threatening punishment ; but we must be 
rigid in the performance of the one, and in the 
infliction of the other. If, for example, we as- 
sure a child unconditionally, that, after his les- 
sons, he shall have a top or a ball, no subsequent 
ill behaviour on his part should induce us to 
deprive him of it. Naughty or good, the top 
must be his ; and, if it be necessary to punish 
him, we must do it in some other way than by 
breach of engagement. For our word, once 
passed, must not be broken* 

We should labour to excite in children a de- 
testation of all that is mean, cunning, or false ; 
to inspire them with a spirit of openness, hon- 
our, and perfect honesty ; making them feel 
how noble it is, not merely to speak the truth, 
but to speak the simple unakered truth, whether 
it tell for or against themselves ; but this we 



^0 tRUTH AND SINCERITY. 

cannot effect, unless our example uniformly 
concur with our instructions. We should teach 
them not only to confess their faults, but to 
confess them freely, and entirely, without pre- 
facing them by excuses, or endeavouring to 
lessen their own offence, by laying blame upon 
another. When referring to others their mutu- 
al complaints and disputes, they should be 
warned to relate the case honourably and fair- 
ly ; to state both sides of the question — to be 
wiUing to accuse themselves as well as their 
companions. In these points even conscien- 
tious children, who dread a falsehood, are ex- 
tremely prone to equivocate, and to keep back, 
at least, part of the truth. The habit of idle 
gossipping, of seeking and dispensing amuse- 
ment, by hearing and repeating the affairs of 
others, is one great source of misrepresentation, 
and not unfrequently even of direct falsehood. 
The dawnings of such a habit are to be check- 
ed, the meanness of tale-bearing and detraction 
must be strongly impressed upon the mind in 
early life, and children reminded that not only 
duty but a sense of honour should lead us to 



TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 21 

ypeak of others in absence as we would do in 
their presence. 

The confusion and undesigned inaccuracy, 
90 often to be observed in conversation, espe- 
cially in that of uneducated persons, proves 
that " truth needs to be cultivated as a talent 
as well as a virtue," children require not only 
to be told to speak the truth, but taught how 
to do it. To this end, it will be highly benefi- 
cial to accustom them gradually and by con* 
tinued practice, to give an accurate account of 
what they have read or seen, and to relate cor- 
rectly circumstances in which they have them- 
selves been engaged ; for this perspicuity and 
precision are commonly the result not only of 
good principle but of intellectual cultivation. 
Dr. Johnson observes, " Nothing but experi- 
ence can evince the frequency of false informa- 
tion ; — some men relate what they think as what 
they know ; some men of confused memories 
and habitual inaccuracy ascribe to one man what 
belongs to another, and some talk on without 
thought or care. Accustom your children, there- 
fore, to a strict attention to truth, even in the 



22 TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 

most minute particulars ; if a thing happened 
at one window, and they, when relating it, say- 
that it happened at another, do not let it pass, 
but instantly check them ; you do not know 
where deviation from truth will end. It is 

MORE FROM CARELESSNESS ABOUT TRUTH THAN 
FROM INTENTIONAL LYING, THAT THERE IS SO 
MUCH FALSEHOOD IN THE WORLD."* 

On no account whatever let any thing he said 
or done in the nursery that Mamma is not to be 
told. 

In case of any unpleasant occurrence, it is 
the duty of a nurse to take the earliest opportu- 
nity of informing her mistress ; and to do this, 
when she can with propriety, in the presence of 
the children. She is ever to enforce the same 
habit among them, encouraging them, if they 
have met with an accident, or committed a 
fault, at once, (for in these cases, delays are 
dangerous,) to go to their mother, and freely to 
confess it to her. 

* See Bosweli's Life oUchr.ooa, oct. vol. iii. pp. 2iJ), 250, 



TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 23 

It is desirable, as far as possible, to manifest 
confidence in the honour and veracity of chil- 
dren ; for we should wish deceit and falsehood 
to be considered among them as offences of 
which we do not even suppose them capable : 
to accuse a child falsely, breaks his spirit, and 
lowers his sense of honour. If we have, at any 
time, reason to suspect a child of telling a false- 
hood, or of concealing the truth, great caution 
is necessary in betraying that suspicion. We 
should endeavour to ascertain the fact by our 
own observation, or the evidence of others, 
rather than by the common expedient of ques- 
tioning the child himself, or strongly urging him 
to confession ; for, in so doing, we shall often 
lead him, if he be guilty, to repeat the false- 
hood ; or, if innocent and timid, to plead guilty 
to a fault which he has not committed. Be- 
sides, no small care is necessary that we do not 
bring children into temptation, or put too much 
to the proof their still weak and unformed prin- 
ciples. There are many suspicious cases, the 
truth of which being buried in the breast of a 
child, cannot be discovered ; and these it is 



24 TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 

.V 

^ generally wiser to leave unnoticed ; at the same 
ii| time, the more vigilantly observing the offender, 
and treating him with the greater strictness up- 
on those occasions in which the truth can be 
ascertained by positive evidence. For exam- 
ple ; v/ere a child to assure me that he had so 
many times read over his lesson to himself, and 
I had reason to doubt the fact, I would let it 
pass in silence, dreading the effects of ill-placed 
suspicion, and knowing that, if he were guilty 
and should choose to deny it, I had no means 
by which to convict him. On the other hand, 
if a child tell a nurse that his mother has desir- 
ed she should give him fruit, or a cake, and she 
suspect he is deceiving her, let her say nothing 
to him at the time, but apply, without his know- 
ledge, to the mother ; should her suspicions be 
confirmed, the child is convicted, and the op- 
portunity is at once afforded for reproving and 
correcting him with decision. 

If we have grounds for supposing a child 
guilty of some common offence, although, as 
lias before been remarked with regard to false- 
hood, it is better to ascertain the truth by evi- 



TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 25 

(lence, rather than by the forced confession of 
the suspected party : yet, sometimes it may be 
necessary to question the child himself. This 
must be done with great caution, not with the 
vehemence and hurry so commonly employed 
on such occasions ; but with calmness and af- 
fection. We should forbid him to answer in 
haste, or without consideration ; reminding him 
of the extreme importance and happy conse- 
quences of truth : of our tenderness towards 
him, and willingness to forgive, if he freely 
confess his fault, and show himself upright and 
honourable in his conduct ; for truth being the 
corner-stone of practical goodness, we nmst be 
ready, when necessary, to sacrilice to it less 
important points ; and, for the sake of this lead- 
ing objeat, to pass over many smaller offences. 
I cannot close the subject before us without 
a warning against a severe, repulsive, disheart- 
ening, or satirical system, in the management 
of children. Nothing is so Hkely to produce in 
them, especially in those of timid dispositions, 
reserve, pusillanimity, and duphcity of charac- 
ter. On the other hand, good discipline will 
3 



26 TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 

greatly promote habits of integrity and open- 
ness. But it is to be remembered, that the 
hest discipline is always combined with free- 
dom, mildness, sympathy, and affection. 



AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 27 



AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 

All who are engaged in bringing up chil- 
dren must, necessarily, possess a certain share 
of authority or power over them. This power, 
being the chief instrument in education, it is to 
the injudicious use which is made of it, that 
many of the prevalent defects among children 
are to be ascribed. On the one hand, we may 
observe self-indulgence, insubordination, and 
disobedience : on the other, a broken and de- 
pressed spirit, one of the most serious and least 
curable evils which ill-management, on the part 
of those who govern, can occasion. The for- 
mer, arising from a weak, indecisive, and irreg- 
ular exercise of authority ; the latter, from 
coldness and severity. 

It is our business to steer as clear as possi- 
ble between these opposite evils — bearing in 
mind that it is essential to the welfare of chil- 
dren to know how to obey, to submit their wills, 
and to bear a denial ; while at the same time, 



28 AUTHORITY AND OfeEDtENCEJ. 

their minds should be left free and vigorous, 
open to every innocent enjoyment, and unfet- 
tered by the thraldom of fear. We shall best 
unite these important advantages by an authori- 
ty, firm but affectionate, equally free from 
peevishness or ill temper, and an excess of in- 
dulgence, regular and consistent, never unne- 
cessarily called into action, but, always, with 
effect ; exercised with a simple view to the 
good of those under our care, according to the 
dictates of judgment, and from the principle of 
love ; for the reproofs, corrections, and re- 
straints, which are necessarily imposed upon 
children, should spring from love, as well as 
the encouragements and indulgencies which we 
bestow upon them : 

" Such authority, in shew, 



When most severe, and must 'ring all its force. 

Is but the graver countenance of love ; 

Whose favour, like the clouds of spring, may low'r. 

And utter, now and then, an awful voice. 

But has a blessing in its darkest frown, 

Threat'ning, at once, and nourishing the plant.'-* 



AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 29 

Authority thus guarded, combining in right 
proportion, decision and mildness, will produce 
in the subjects of it, an invaluable union of hap- 
py freedom and ready obedience. 

Decision of character is essential to success 
in the business of education. '' Weakness in 
every form tempts arrogance : when a firm de- 
cisive spirit is recognised it is curious to see 
how the space clears around a man, and leaves 
him room and freedom. I have known seve- 
ral parents, both fathers and mothers, v.hose 
management of their famihes has answered this 
description, and has displayed a striking exam- 
ple of the facile complacency with w4iich a 
number of persons, of different ages and disposi- 
tions, will yield to the decisions of a firm mind 
acting on an equitable and enlightened systemy^ 
But while we do justice to this great and most 
effectual quahty, it must never be forgotten that 
decision, when untempered by affection, and 
unpoised by a wise, considerate, generous esti- 



Foster's Essay on Decision of Character. 

3^ 



so AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 

mate of the rights of others, too quickly degen- 
erates into sternness and severity. 

And is not authority, often converted into an 
instrument of evil rather than of good, hy being 
exerted for self-gratification, from temper, from 
impulse, and sometimes from that love of rule 
which closely borders upon tyranny ? 

What is more common, too, than a frequent, 
weak, irritating exercise of power, which teases 
the child, and frets his temper, while it rarely 
commands his obedience ? 

A nurse forbids a child to meddle whh the 
pen and ink with which he is playing, but he 
goes on, as if deaf to her voice. She repeats 
her prohibition, in a louder and more peevish 
tone, " Don't do so, I will tell your papa, I 
shall punish you if you go on." The child 
obeys, perhaps, for a minute, but having often 
heard the like threats, and as rarely found 
them executed, he soon creeps to the table, 
and again lays hold of the forbidden objects. 

The nurse complains how unmanageable are 
ber children, Httle supposing that she herself 
h the cause ! 



AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 31 

She should, in the first instance, with kind- 
ness and decision, have told the child that she 
forbad his playing with ink and pens, and 
therefore that it must not be done. Should 
more be necessary, let her add that, in case of 
his once again transgressing, she shall be oblig- 
ed to send him out of the room, or to take him 
to his papa. 

The absolute necessity of executing these 
threats has already been remarked. 

When the child sees his attendant rise to do 
it, he will, very often, then relent, and then 
submit, promising to repeat his offence no 
more ; but this should make no difference ; it 
would be merely adding to future trouble, and 
to future disobedience. Our word, once j^ass- 
ed, must not be broken. 

Also, if a child be fretting, or crying, it will 
Uttle avail to say that he is naughty, and to 
order him, man)^ times, to be still. Rather let 
him be told, that if, in five minutes, (for we 
should allow him time to recover himself) he 
is not perfectly quiet, he must be removed 
from the table, or sent into the next room. 



32 AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 

In such cases, it is of comparatively little use 
to threaten punishment, generally — we should 
always state the particular privation which we 
mean to impose. 

It is the result of experience that authority is 
to be estabhshed, rather by actions than words. 
What is vulgarly called scolding, is altogether 
unnecessary ; the government of the tongue is 
therefore essential to those engaged in the busi- 
ness of education. In mind and action we 
should be firm ; in manner, mild and quiet. 
It is a common mistake to talk too much, to 
make too much noise, in managing children. 
A multipHcity of words — complaints — encour- 
agements rebukes threats but, nothing 

done, nothing effected, when, probably, one 
decided action v/ould have accomplished the 
object without further trouble. 

For example ; a child gives way to temper 
and passionate crying at his morning dressing — 
The nurse prolongs the evil and adds to the 
noise, by her upbraidings and persuasions, 
which, at the moment of irritation, of course, 
avail nothing. She had better be silent at the 



AtJTHORITT ANfi OftfitHENCE* 56 

time, calmly pursuing her usual course, and at 
breakfast, should her mistress approve it, the 
offender may be deprived of some little indul- 
gence which the other children are enjoying. 
Only let her take care to do this with kindness, 
explaining the reason of her conduct, but not 
upbraiding him with his fault ; assui ing him of 
the pain it gives her to deprive him of any gra- 
tification, and of the pleasure she will feel, in 
bestowing the same upon him, when his beha- 
viour shall deserve it. This mode of proceed- 
ing will effect more, than an abundant repeti- 
tion of mere admonitions and rebukes. 

So, also, if a child behave unusually well, or 
obtain some victory over himself, encourage- 
ment will leave a more beneficial and more last- 
ing impression, if, instead of saying any thing 
to him at the time, we take an early opportuni- 
ty of bestowing some favour upon him, remind- 
ing him of the cause of this indulgence, and, 
then, expressing our approbation of his conduct. 

With children, a vigilant superintendence is 
required, but not a frequent interference. 



34 AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 

The object of education, "is to preserve them 
from evil, not from childishness." 

We should, therefore, be very lenient to those 
errors, which are more " the defects of the age 
than of the individual," and which time, there 
is little doubt, will remove, reserving our au- 
thority to be exercised with the more effect, on 
important occasions — such occasions, as bear 
upon fundamental principles and moral habits. 

Children must, and should be, children still, 
and it is our duty to sympathize with them as 
such ; to impose upon them no unnecessary re- 
straint, to grant them every harmless gratifica- 
tion, and, as far as possible, to promote their 
truest enjoyment, remembering, that, although 
the day is often cloudy, yet it is mercifully or- 
dered that the dawn of hfe should be bright and 
happy, unless by mismanagement, it be render- 
ed otherwise. 

It may, at first sight, appear inconsistent with 
what has been just said, strongly to recommend 
that the will be effectually subjected in very 
early childhood. This object must be obtain- 
ed, if we would proceed in the business of edu- 



AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 35 

cation, with comfort, or ensure the welfare and 
happiness of our children. A portion of stricter 
discipline may, for a time, be required, but dis- 
ciphne, be it ever remembered, is perfectly 
compatible with the tenderest sympathy and the 
most affectionate kindness. Many persons who 
allow themselves to treat children, during their 
earhest years, merely as playthings, hum.ouring 
their caprices, and sacrificing, to present fan- 
cies, their future welfare, when the charm of 
infancy is past, commence a system of restraint 
and severity ; and betray displeasure and irrita- 
bility at the very defects, of which they them- 
selves have laid the foundation. But if author- 
ity has been thoroughly estabhshed in the be- 
ginning of hfe, we shall have it the more in our 
power to grant liberty and indulgence, and to 
exercise a genial influence over our children, 
when their feelings are ripening, and when their 
affection and confidence toward their parents 
are of increasing importance. Amidst the vari- 
ous objects of education, the cultivation of con- 
fidential habits is too often overlooked even by 
affectionate and attentive parents. They are. 



36 AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 

perhaps, obeyed, respected, and beloved ; but 
this is not sufficient. If, in addition, a parent 
can be to her children the famihar friend, the 
unreserved confidant, the sympathizing partner 
in their joys and sorrows, hopes and disappoint- 
ments, a hold on the mind is obtained, which 
will continue when authority ceases, and prove 
a safeguard through the most critical period 
of hfe. 

It is important, in the management of chil- 
dren, to make but few rules, and to be unal- 
terably firm in enforcing those which are 
made — to give no needless commands — but to 
see that those given are strictly obeyed. We 
should also be cautious of employing authority 
on occasions in which it is likely to be exerted 
in vain ; or of commanding what we cannot en- 
force. If, for example, we desire a child to bring 
a book, and he refuse, we can clasp the book in 
his hand, and oblige him to deliver it. But if 
we have imprudently declared that he shall not 
dine or walk till he has repeated a poem, or 
:Spoken a particular sentence, should he choo?e 



AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 37 

40 resist, we cannot compel him ; and this af- 
fords an obstinate child the opportunity for ob- 
taining a victory over those to whom he ought 
to submh. 

There are cases in which children, without 
any ill intention, are unable to obey ; and in 
these, also, they should not be commanded. 
■Of this, personal tricks are an example : — 
" My dear, don't bite your nails," may be re- 
peated a dozen times in the course of a lesson ; 
but such is the force of habit, that tlie hand 
still, involuntarily finds its way to the mouth. 
If we are determined to overcome the propen- 
sity, it must be done by some external re- 
straint, as by fastening the hand in a glove, 
he. ; — not by commands, which, as they can- 
not be obeyed, serve only to nnpair the habit 
of ready obedience. 

It is the part of wisdom, as far as possible, 
so to exercise authority, that it should be con- 
sidered as inviolable, never to be disobeyed or 
contemned with impunity. 

The restraint of the tongue, which has be- 
fore been mentioned as necessary to those who 
4 



o8 AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 

educate, is one of the most important habits to 
be enforced also upon children themselves, and 
is a great security to proper submission under 
authority ; forming no small part of that self- 
subjection, which is essential to true discipline. 
Impertinent and disrespectful" language is not 
to be allowed ; for this, once admitted, is the 
certain harbinger of actual insubordination, and 
a train of other evils. 



REWARDS, PUNISHMENTS, SiC. 39 



REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS, 
PRAISE AND BLAME. 

Rewards and punishments, praise and blame, 
are the main supports of authority, and its ef- 
fect will greatly depend on our dispensing these 
with wisdom and caution. 

A very frequent recourse to rewards does 
but lessen their efTect, and weaken the mind 
by accustoming it to an unnecessary stimulus, 
whilst punishment, too freely administered, v/ill 
fret the temper, or, which is worse, break the 
spirit. 

Locke remarks, "that those children, who 
are the most chastized, rarely prove the best 
men ; and, that punishment, if it be not pro- 
ductive of good, will certainly be the cause of 
much injury." 

It is better, therefore, if possible, to effect 
our purposes by encouragement and rewards, 
rather than correction. But if this be imprac- 
ticable, we should stih keep in view, that pun- 



40 REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS, 

ishment, being in itself an evil, and intended 
simply to deter from what is wrong, and to in- 
duce submission and penitence, ought never to 
be extended beyond w^iat is absolutely neces- 
sary to secure these objects, and, unless inflict- 
ed by parents, or those who are possessed of 
the first authority, should be of the mildest and 
least alarming character. 

Not only the rod, but severe reproaches, 
rough handling, tying to bed-posts, the hasty 
slap, the dark closet, and every thing that 
might terrify the imagination, are to be ex- 
cluded from the nursery. If a nurse be under 
the necessity of punishing a child, she may 
confine him for a time in a light room, remove 
him from table, or allow him simply to suffer 
the natural consequences of his offence. If he 
intentionally hurt his brother with a whip, the 
whip must for a time be taken from him. If 
lie betray impatience and selfishness at table, 
let him be served the last, and with the least 
indulgence. Such gentle measures, adminis- 
tered v/ith decision, will generally succeed, for 
it is much more the ctrtainty and immediate 



PRAISE AND BLAME. 41 

execution, than the severity, of punishment, that 
will avail. A child, who is svre of being con- 
fined a quarter of an hour, if he strike his com- 
panion, is less likely to commit the offence 
than another v.ho has only the apprehension 
that he may be detained an hour ; for the hope 
of escaping with impunity adds no little force 
to temptation. Correction, also, is not to be 
unnecessarily delayed or prolonged. Delay 
renders it less effectual, and more trying to 
the temper ; whilst any needless continuance, 
in every way, increases the evils, and lessens 
the benefits which might result from it. 

There is much, in education, to be done by 
watching our opportunities, by acting at the 
right season. With most children there is an 
era, and this often takes place as they are 
emerging from babyhood, in which a struggle 
is made for the mastery, — in which it is to be 
decided who is to rule, — the child, or those 
v.ho are placed over him. At such a junc- 
ture, in order to determine the matter, and 
firmly to cstabhsh authority, it will be necessa- 
ry to employ vigorous measures, and to sup- 
4* 



42 REWARDS ANB PUNISHMENTS, 

press the first risings of a rebellious and diso- 
bedient spirit, by punishment, decisive ; and 
repeated till submission on the part of the child,- 
and victory on that of the parent, are com- 
pletely secured.^ So great is the importance 
of these contests ; so great is the difficulty of 
carrying them on with the temper, and the 
union of firmness and affection, which they re- 



* Although the use of the rod is most strictly to be 
pfohibi^^ed to those who possess only secondary authority, 
yet, with some few children, a parent may find it necessary 
to employ corporal punishment in order to establish the 
liabit of obedience, or effectually to subdue a propensity to 
falsehood, or to any other glaring breach of moral principle. 
Under such circumstances corporal punishment may be very 
eflficacioas ; but to render it so, or rather to prevent its be- 
coming a dangerous evil, it must be resorted to only as a last 
resource on very important occasions, and administered as a 
chastisement of the most serious nature, wiih decision, per- 
fect serenity of temper and affection towards the offender. 

It will also be found that corporal punishment, if necessa- 
ry at all, will be most useful in the early stages of childhood ; 
<yvery advancing year, as it should add to a child's generosi- 
ty of feeling, and sense of honour, increa'<es the serious dis^ 
sfdvantages which attend this mode of correctioa. 



^ PRAISE AND BLAME. 43 

quire, that it is desirable they should be con- 
ducted only by a parent. Punishment is more 
often to be inflicted simply as the consequence 
of a fault, and not with the idea, that it must 
be prolonged till the particular action required 
has been performed. 

A child is desired, for instance, to put up his 
play-things, and he refuses with so much self 
will, that his attendant cannot overlook it, and 
is under the necessity of telling him that he 
must be confined in the next room for a quar- 
ter of an hour ; but let her beware of adding, 
that there he shall stay till he icill put them 
up. This would serve merely to engage in 
the combat his pride and his obstinacy. At 
the end of the quarter of an hour she should 
release him fi^om his imprisonment, without 
waitins; to make conditions for his future obe- 
dience. 

It has been said, indeed, that submission, on 
the part of the offender, is the object of pun- 
ishment, and such submission as may entitle 
him to receive complete forgiveness. When a 
child has been corrected, we should not rest 



44 REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS, 

satisfied till this object has been attained ; but 
it is not, in all cases, to be expected, either 
during the continuance of the punishment, or 
immediately afterwards. 

A well trained child, if affectionately admon- 
ished after correction is over, and not being irri- 
tated at the idea that it may be continued, will 
generally yield at once ; but it is not consider- 
ed necessary to put this always to the proof. 
He has committed a fault, and has suffered the 
consequences. Here it is often wisest to leave 
the affair for the time, choosing the earliest fa- 
vourable opportunity, when he has more per- 
fectly recovered himself, for receiving his sub- 
mission, and assuring him of forgiveness. 

If his attendant have conducted herself in 
the right spirit, he will have felt the force of 
her correction, though he may not have shewn 
it at the time. The next day, if she desire 
iiim to put up his play-things, he will, pretty 
certainly, obey with more than common alac- 
rity. 

When a child has been punished, he should 
be restored as soon as possible to favour ; and 



S»RAISE IKD BLAifE. 45 

when he has received forgiveness, treated as if 
nothing had happened. He may he affection- 
ately reminded of his fauU in private, as a warn- 
ing for the future ; but, after peace has been 
made, to upbraid him with it, especially in the 
presence of others, is almost a breach of hon- 
our, and, certainly, a great unkindness. Un- 
der any circumstances, to reproach children in 
company is equally useless and painful to them^ 
and is generally done from irritability of tem- 
per, with little view to their profit. 

We are to remember that shame will not ef-^ 
fectually deter children from what is v.Tong ; 
and that in employing it too much as an instru- 
ment of education, we have reason to appre- 
hend we may lead them to act from the feai" 
of man rather than from that of God. Every 
thing, too, which may in the least injure the 
characters of children, is to be strictly avoided. 
To have the name of a naughty child will pro- 
duce so disheartening an effect upon the mind, 
that the ill consequences may probably be felt 
through life. It is on this account desirable, 
chat tutors, governesses, and nurses, be cau- 



46 REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS, 

tious of enlarging upon the faults cf those un- 
der their care to any but the parents. 

Blame, and even praise, are to be dispensed 
with nearly as much caution as punishments 
and rewards ; for a child may be called 
"good," "naughty," "troublesome," "kind," 
or " unkind," till either his temper will be kept 
in continual irritation, or he will listen with per- 
fect indifference. 

A child must not be punished or reproved 
from the impulse of temper ; we may regulate 
his actions, but we cannot hope to subdue his 
will, or improve his disposition, by a display of 
our own wilfulness and irritability ; for our ex- 
ample will more than counteract the good ef- 
fects of our correction. If irritated, we should 
wait till w^e are cool, before we inflict punish- 
ment, and then do it as a duty, in exact pro- 
portion to the real faultiness of the offender ; 
not to the degree of vexation he has occasioned 
ourselves. A child should be praised, reprov- 
ed, rewarded, and corrected, not according to 
the consequences, but according to the motives, 
of his actions — solely with reference to the 



I 



PRAISE AND ELAME. 47 

I'idit or wrong intention which has influenced 
him. 

Children, therefore, should not be punished 
for mere accidents, but mildly warned agninst 
similar carelessness in future. Whereas some 
people shew much greater displeasure with a 
child for accidentally overthrowing the table, 
or breaking a piece of china, than for telling 
an untruth ; or, if he hang his head, and w^ill 
not shew off in company, he is more blamed 
than for selfishness in the nursery. But does 
not such treatment arise from preferring our 
own gratification to the good of the child ^ and 
can we hope, by thus doing, to improve him in 
the government of his temper, or to instruct 
him in the true standard of right and wTong .^^ 

Punishment, administered in anger, is no 
longer the discipline of love, but bears too 
much the character of revenging an injury, and 
will certainly excite in the sufferer a corres- 
pending temper of mind. From fear, indeed, 
he may yield externally, but the feehngs of his 
heart would lead him to resentment rather than 
to penitence and submission. And let it never 



48 REWARDS AND PUNISHilENTS 

be forgotten, that if we desire to perform our 
duties to children, it is not to their outward 
conduct, but to the heart, that we must direct 
our chief attention. 

To punish with effect requires decision, and 
;Sometimes courage. If, in addition to this, our 
punishments carry v/ith them the stamp of love ; 
if they are inflicted with an undisturbed serenity 
of temper, with a simple view to the good of the 
offender, " not for our pleasure, but for his 
profit," they will rarely fail in accomphshing 
the intended purpose ; for children have a 
ruick sense of the motives that influence us, 
and their hearts are not unfrequently as much 
softened, and their affections as powerfully call- 
ed forth by such correction, as by the most grati- 
fying rewards that could be bestowed upon 
them. 



TEMPER. 43 



TEMPER. 

On no part of the character has education 
more influence, than on the temper ; the due 
regulation of which is an ohject of so great im- 
portance to the enjoyment of the present hfe, 
and to the preparation for a better. 

An authority such as has been described, 
firm, but affectionate ; decided, yet mild ; im- 
posing no unnecessary restraints ; but encour- 
aging every innocent freedom and gratification, 
exercised according to the dictates of judg- 
ment, and supported by rewards and punish- 
ments judiciously dispensed ; is the best means 
of securing good temper in our children, and 
evinces that self-subjection on our part vvhich is 
essential to its successful cultivation on theirs. 
This, at once, will put an end to those impul- 
ses of temper in ourselves which are the most 
fruitful sources of irritation to others ; for, it is 
surprising, how quickly our own irritability will 
be reflected in the little ones around us. Speak 



50 TEMPER. 

to a child In a fretful manner, and we shall 
generally find that his answer partakes of the 
same character. We may reprove ; we may 
punish ; we may enforce obedience ; but all 
will done with double the effect if our own 
temper remain perfectly unruffled ; for what 
benefit can reasonably be expected, when we 
recommend that by our injunctions which we 
renounce by our example ? 

The variations and inconsistency to which 
characters of impulse are also liable, are par- 
ticularly trying to children. There are lew 
tempers that can resist the effect of being 
sharply reproved at one time, for what, at 
another, is passed over without notice ; of be- 
ing treated one day with excessive indulgence, 
and the next w^ith fretfulness or severity. 

We all have our weak and irritable mo- 
ments ; we may experience many changes of 
temper and feeling ; but let us beware of be- 
traying such variations in our outw^ard conduct, 
if we value the good temper and respect of 
our children ; for these we have no right to 
expect on their part, without consistency on 
purs. 



TEMPER. 5L 

If a fault be glaring, it must be seriously ta- 
ken up ; but in the management of the tem- 
per, especially in early childhood, much may 
be effected by a system of prevention. A ju- 
dicious attendant may avert many an impend- 
ing naughty fit, by change of object, gentle 
amusement, and redoubled care to put no 
temptation in the way, if she observe any of 
her little ones weary, uncomfortable, or irrita- 
ble. This, for instance, will generally be the 
case with children when they first awake. 
They should, therefore, then be treated with 
more than common tenderness ; never roused 
from sleep suddenly or violently ; nor exposed 
to any httle trials, till they have had time 
thoroughly to recover themselves. It is scarce- 
ly necessary to add, how peculiarly this tender 
consideration is required, not only in illness, 
but under the various lesser indispositions so 
frequent in infancy. 

Children ought not to be, unnecessarily, 
thwarted in their objects ; which, at a very 
early age, they pursue with eagerness. Let 
them, if possible, complete their projects with- 



52 vTfeMPER. 

out interruption. A child, for example, be- 
fore he can speak, is trotting after a ball ; the 
nurse snatches him up at the moment, to be 
washed and dressed, and tlie poor child throws 
himself into a violent passion. Whereas, had 
she first entered into his views, kindly assisted 
him in gaining his object, and then gently taken 
him up, this trial would have been spared, and 
his temper uninjured. 

We should avoid keeping children in sus- 
jaence, which is often done from a kind mo- 
tive, though with very ill effect. If a child 
ask his nurse for a cake, and she can give it- 
him, let her tell him so at once, and assure 
him that he shall have it ; but, should she be 
unable to grant his request, or know it would 
be improper for him, do not let her hesitate ; 
4o not let her say, " I will think of it, we 
shall see," but kindly and decidedly refuse 
him. 

If he sees his mother going out, and petition 
to accompany her, it will be better she should 
say " No," or " Yes," at once, for he will re- 
cisiv8 with ease an immediate^ but kind, refu- 



TEMPER. 53 

sal ; when, probably, he would cry bitterly at 
a denial, after his expectations had been rais- 
ed by suspence. 

When a child is to go to bed, we ought not 
to fret him for the last half hour, by saying 
every few minutes, " I shall soon send you to 
bed — Now, my dear, it is time to go — Now, I 
hope you will go" — but let him be told that, at 
such a time, he is to go to bed, and when that 
time arrives, no common excuse should pre- 
vent it. 

We ought also to be guarded against attach- 
ing too much importance to trifles ; from this 
mistake, many an useless combat arises in most 
nurseries. How often have I observed a nurse 
more disturbed, and a child more alarmed and 
fretted, at a torn or dirty frock, than at a 
breach of truth, or a want of generosity ! 
Here the lesser good is preferred to the great- 
er, and the primary object of education forgot- 
ten.^ 

* It is much to be regretted that dress is thus often made 
the subject of dispute and irritation. Perr-onal cleanliness 

5* 



54 TEMPER. 

By such measures as have been recom- 
mended, accompanied by a quick sympathy 
with the peculiar characters, and peculiar infir- 
mities of children, much may be done towards 
forming among them a habit of good temper. 
But, such is the irritabihty both of mental and 
bodily constitution in childhood, that, with our 
best efforts, we must not expect unvarying suc- 
cess. 

From some hidden cause, generally to be 
traced to their bodily state, many children, per- 
haps all occasionally, are prone to a certain fret- 
fulness, or irritabihty, which will baffle every 
attempt to overcome it, and which, therefore, is 
rather to be borne with than opposed — never 
to be humoured, but to be received with un- 
moved serenity and patience. In such cases, 
there appears to be no other method of pro- 
ceeding. This, indeed, calls for great patience ; 
but, without great patience, who can perform 
tlie duties required towards children ^ 



i'5 indeed indispensable; and children, Avhether it teaze t];eoa 
m not, must be thoroughly washed. But their clothes 



JUSTICE. ^O 



JUSTICE. 



*' Impartiality is the life of justice, as jus- 
tice is of all good government." It is necessa- 
ry diligently to enforce upon children principles 
of stricty2(5/ice, and invariably to act upon them 
ourselves. We must have no partiahties, but 
give to every one his due : to the elder as much 
as to the younger, (in this a deficiency may 
often be observed ;) to the unattractive as well 
as to the more pleasing ; each according to his 
deserts, and not according to his own particular 
feelings. " On every occasion our decisions 
are to be regulated not by the jjerson, but by the 
cause. We are not to infringe upon the rights 
of children ; remembering that their feelings 



should be so contrived as not to interfere with their freer'om 
and enjojr-ment, or to require any great degree of attention. 
It is desirable to keep them as neat as the case admits of, but, 
to this, a nurfje must take care that neither her own temper, 
nor thcir's is sacrificed 



66 JUSTICE. 

are a counterpart of our own, and that human 
nature is the same at every age. It is, there- 
fore, a great, though very common error, to sup- 
pose, that, because they are placed under our 
power, we are not bound by the same laws of 
justice and honour, in our deahngs with them, 
as with our equals. It is a well known re- 
mark, that " the greatest respect is due to chil- 
dren ;" and this is especially to be manifested in 
a conscientious regard to their just and natural 
claims. We should hold their little property as 
more sacred than our own ; and insist upon the 
same principle in their conduct towards each 
other : not allowing one child to use the play- 
things of his brother, especially in his absence, 
without his express consent ; teaching them the 
true import of " thine and mine ;" and making 
it a point of honour to consider the rights of 
others, as they would their own. 

Children ought not to be ohliged to give and 
lend : this is a very frequent mistake. One of 
them, for example, is eating a cake, and the in- 
fant cries for it : the nurse begs for a piece in 
Vain ; and irritated by the unkindness of the 



JUSTICE. 57 

6ne, and the cries of the other, she hastily 
breaks the cake, and gratifies the desire of the 
younger, by seizing the property of the elder. 
The latter feels himself injured ; his anger is 
excited towards his oppressor ; and his kind 
feehngs towards his brother impaired : whilst 
the former is strengthened iti the idea, that, by 
crying and impatience, he shall obtain the grat- 
ification of his wishes. Or, an elder child has 
a cart ; he has played with it till he is tired : 
the younger begs for the use of it ; the elder 
peremptorily refuses. The nurse persuades 5 
she complains, urges, and remonstrates, till she 
obtains a reluctant consent : or, if not, seizes 
the cart, and gives it to the younger. Here the 
law of justice is broken : and the rights of the 
elder child are violated. It is true, he was un- 
kind and unobliging ; but the cart and the cake 
were his own ; and by taking them from him, 
without his free and full consent, we shall not 
teach him generosity, but injustice. 



58 HARMONY, GENEFjOSTTY, &cC. 



HARMONY, GENEROSITY, he. 

Thoroughly to establish the prmciples of 
strict justice in the conduct of those who rule, 
and in that of the children, one toward another, 
is the grand means of securing the peace and 
good order of a nursery, and the only sure 
ground-work of harmony, mutual generosity, 
and, consequently, of love. The apprehension 
lest his property should be extorted from him ; 
the fear of having his own rights, in any way, 
infi'inged ; the suspicion that he may not re- 
ceive his due — renders a child irritable and 
contentious : whilst the certainty that he him- 
self shall be treated with entire justice aiid im- 
partiality, satisfies his mind, composes his spi- 
rit, and prepares him to impart, with liberality, 
what he knows is altogether in his own power. 

At the same time, the habit of nice attention, 
on his part, to the rights of others, teaches him 
the invaluable lesson of subduing his desires, 
and of expecting limits to his individual gratifi- 



HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &tC. 59 

cation. Thus the principle of justice, brought 
into full effect, cuts off the main sources of dis- 
^te and contention ; prepares the way for a 
free and liberal spirit ; is the surest preservative 
against an envious, suspicious temper ; and is 
the first step towards overcoming that selfish- 
ness, which is the prevailing evil of the human 
heart. This evil must be carefully watched, 
and perseveringly counteracted, especially by 
guarding against it in our own hearts and beha- 
viour ; for, let it be remembered, that generosity 
and affection are virtues, which, from their na- 
ture, do not admit of being enforced by author- 
ity. We must not attempt to command them ; 
nor should we upbraid children for the want of 
them, even towards ourselves, though we may 
do much to promote their growth, by this strict 
adherence to justice, by influence, instruction, 
and a judicious improvement of those natural 
feelings of kindness, which almost all children 
occasionally display. There are few who will 
not discover emotions of sympathy and pity at 
the sight of any sorrow or suffering, which they 
understand to be such ; and these are the occa- 



^0 HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &C. 

sions for awakening their benevolence and coni- 
paesion, not only toward their fellow creatures, 
but to every living thing. We should be par- 
ticularly careful to lose no such opportunity of 
cultivating this tenderness of feehng among 
themselves. If one of the little flock be ill, or 
in pain, the others will, generally, shew an in- 
terest and sympathy — a desire to comfort and 
jalease him, which should be carefully cherish- 
ed. The affections of elder children are also 
often called forth, in a lively manner, toward the 
younger. Now, although their attentions to the 
little one, may at times be troublesome to the 
attendant, she ought not hastily to suppress 
them — rather let her commend the younger to 
the care and protection of the elder ; ever bear- 
ing in mind the importance of nurturing that 
family affection, so invaluable in the progress of 
life, and of which the foundation is generally 
laid within the first ten years of childhood. 

Elder children, are, on the contrary, some- 
times inclined to tease, and domineer over the 
younger ; though it is commonly those who 
have themselves been treated with tyranny 



HARMONY, genehosity, hc. 61 

that are most disposed, in their turn, to become 
tyrants. This inclination is ever to be repress- 
ed : we are to point out the meanness, as well 
as the barbarity, of employing superior strength, 
in opprescing, or tormenting, the weak and the 
helpless ; and uniformly to manifest our abhor- 
rence of cruelty and tyranny, under whatever 
form they may appear, even when exercised to- 
ward the most insignificant insect. Let the first 
appearances also of a revengeful disposition 
be especially guarded against, both in our chil- 
dren, and in the conversation and conduct of 
those who are about them. If a child, in infan- 
cy, be encouraged to beat the table, against 
w^iich he has bruised his head ; if he be allowed 
to strike his brother, from whom he has re- 
ceived a blovv^ ; if he hear the language of re- 
taliation and mutual reproach among his attend- 
ants, can we be surprised, if he display an iras- 
cible and vindictive temper, as his will and his 
passions are strengthened by age ? 

Alihongh we are not to force upon children 
even the best instruction, nor urge them to an 
-exertion of self-denial and benevolence, fov 
6 



(Jl2 HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &C 



for which their minds are not ripe ; yet we 
must remember the importance of raising their 
views, as they are able to hear ity to the Chris- 
tian standard of relative goodness. We may 
gradually inculcate the invaluable precepts, that 
we should forgive one another, as w^e hope our- 
selves to be forgiven ; that " blessed are the 
merciful, for they shall obtain mercy;" that " we 
are to do to others as we would have them do 
to us" — having compassion toward all ; being 
pitiful and courteous; remembering " the words 
of the Lord Jesus," that " it is more blessed to 
give than to receive." 

How many of the fairest opportunities will na- 
turally present themselves, especially to a 
mother, w^hen the hearts of her little ones are 
touched, not only of inculcating these divine 
injunctions, but which will still more Gvail, of 
tenderly infusing the spirit they breathe, by sym- 
pathy and influence ? Nor is it only the precepts 
of the New Testament, which may assist us on 
these occasions, w^e have also to point out the 
example of Christ. We have to cultiva.te the 
habit of contemplating his cliaracterj not only 



HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &C. 63 

to be loved and admired, as perfect in itself, 
but as a pattern for us, as the standard at which 
we are continually to be aiming, as that which 
is intended to produce the strongest effects up- 
on our hves and affections. It is to be la- 
mented that of this perfect pattern we make so 
little practical use, that it is so little brought to 
bear upon the daily conduct of hfe. No reli- 
gious instruction is better suited to the minds of 
children, than that derived h-om the example of 
Christ, and no part of this example more calcu- 
lated to touch their hearts, than the compas- 
sion, the tenderness, the consideration of the 
wants and feelings of others, which he so per- 
fectly displayed.* 



* The compassion and tenderness of our Lord will be strong- 
ly illustrated by contrasting them with the behaviour of the dis- 
ciples. Excellent as they were as men, their impatience and 
even want of charity, on many occasions, sufficiently prove, 
liow wide i« the difference between human virtue, ar.d divine 
perfectio.i, between that exalted standard which is set before 
us for our imitation, and the conduct of those who have most 
nearly app-oached to it. It was the language of the disci- 
ples, " Send the multitude awaj that they may go into the 



04 HARMONY, GENEROSITY, hc. 

Children may be easily trained to exercise 
kindness and liberality towards the poor -, they 
will experience a pleasure in relieving their 



vilhges and buy themselves victuals." Jesus answered, 
" Give ye them to eat" *« I have compassion upon the mul- 
titude, I will nor 5erd them away fasting lest they faint by 
the way." (Matthew xiv. and xv.) 

The followers of our Lord *• char;:ed the blird man that 
he should hold his peace." " Jesus stood still, commanded 
him to be brought unto him saying, What wilt thou that I 
should do unto thee 1 R eceive thy sight, thy faith hath sav- 
ed thee." (Luke xviii.) 

When parents brought their young children to Jesus that he 
should bless them, the disciples rebuked them. "Jesus was 
much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little childreni 
to come unto me, and forbid them not. And he took them 
Up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them." 
(Markx.) 

When the Samaritans refused to receive their master, the 
di -ciples would have commanded fire to come down from 
heave)! to consume them. Jesus answered, " Ye know not 
what manner of spirit ye are of, the Son of man is nof come 
to destroy men's lives, but to save them." (Luke ix.) 

When his enemies surrounded our Lord with swords and 
staves, *' Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the 
High Priest's servant and cut off his right ear — then said 
Jesus un-o Peter, Put up thy sword into the sl.ealh." *' And 
Iq touched his e^ and healed it." ^^Luke xxii.— John xviii.) 



HARMONY, GENEROSITY, fcc. 65 

wants. When old enough, the boys may be in- 
duced to save money ; the girls, to make clothes 
for the poor families, with whom they are per- 
sonally acquainted. It is important that the 
A«c^iV of giving freely should be early established; 
for the usefulness of many characters is materi- 
ally abridged through hfe from the want of this 
habit. With good and benevolent intentions, 
they know not hoio to dispense liberally, or how 
to open their hands freely. Mutual presents, 
if altogether voluntary, have also a happy ten- 
dency in promoting family affection and good 
will. But, in endeavouring to foster liberality, 
it must never be forgotten, that kindness is not 
to be forced. 

Children, as they advance in age, should be 
taught to distinguish between that true generos- 
ity which involves self-denial, and that v/hicli 
costs them nothing- — between a generosity which 
springs from a desire of applause, and that 
which is simply the result of benevolence and a 
sense of duty. 

It is desirable that the play-things, books, Lc. 
of each child be marked whh his own name. 
6* 



06 HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &C. 

This prevents many disputes, by facilitating that 
regard to individual property before recom- 
mended. When the division of any common 
treat is left to the children themselves, it is a 
good regulation that the divider is always to 
expect the last choice himself; and that the 
absent are particularly to be remembered — 
the m.ost liberal shares being reserved for them. 
These observations may appear unnecessa- 
rily minute ; but it is by little things that chil- 
dren acquire habits, and learn to apply general 
principles : " To a fond parent, who would not 
have his son corrected for a perverse trick, but I 

excused it, saying it was a small matter, Solon 
wisely rephed, 'Aye, but custom is a great 



FEAHFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 67 



TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 

In various characters fear assumes various 
forms. Some children who can brave an ex- 
ternal danger will sink depressed at a reproof 
or sneer. It is our business to guard against 
the inroads of fear under every shape ; for it is 
an infirmity, if suffered to gain the ascendancy, 
mo9t enslaving to the mind, and destructive of 
its strength and capability of enjoyment. At 
the same time, it is an infirmity so difficult to 
be overcome, and to which children are so ex- 
cessively prone, that it may be doubted whether, 
in any branch of education, more discretion or 
more skill is required. 

We have two objects to keep in view ; the 
one, to secure our children from all unnecessa- 
ry and imaginary fears — the other, to inspire 
them with that strength of mind, which may 
enable them to meet, with patience and cour- 
age, the real and unavoidable evils of life. 

For the first, there is no one who has con- 



68 FEARPULNESS AND FQRTITUDE. 

templated the suffering occasioned, through life,, 
by the prevalence of needless fears, imaginary- 
terrors, and diseased nerves, but would most 
earnestly desire to preserve their children from 
these evils. To this end, they should be, as 
far as possible, guarded against every thing like- 
ly to excite sudden alarm, or to terrify the 
Imagination. In very early childhood, they 
ought not to be startled, even at play, by sud- 
den noises or strange appearances. Ghost sto- 
ries, extraordinary dreams, and all other gloomy 
and mysterious tales, must on no account be 
tiamed in their presence : nor must they hear 
histories of murders, robberies, sudden deaths, 
mad dogs, or terrible diseases. If any such 
occurrences are the subjects of general conver- 
sation, let them at least be prohibited in the 
nursery. Nor is it of less importance that we 
should be cautious of betraying alarm at storms, 
a dread of the dark, or a fear and disgust at 
animals. The stricter vigilance in these re- 
spects is required, because, by a casual indis- 
cretion on our part, by leaving about an injudi- 
cious book, by one alarming story, by once 



FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 69 

yielding ourselves to an emotion of groundless 
terror, an impression may be made on the mind 
of a ciiild that will continue for years, and m i- 
terially counteract the eifect of habitual watch- 
fulness. How cruel, then, purposebj to excite 
false terrors in those under our care : as by 
threatening them with " the black man who 
comes for naughty children," with " gipsies," 
*' the snake in the well," &c. ! Not that chil- 
dren will be long deceived ; but when the black 
man and dreadful monster shall have lost their 
power, the effect on the imagination — a habili- 
ty to nervous and undefined terrors will con- 
tinue — and thus, for the trifling consideration 
of sparing ourselves a little present trouble, we 
entail upon those entrusted to us, suffering, and 
an imbecility of mind, which no subsequent ef- 
forts of their own may be able v/holly to over- 
come. We have reason to hope, that the par- 
ticular expedients here referred to are, in the 
present day, excluded from most nurseries ; 
but we may, perhaps, fall into similar errors, 
under a more refined form — by exciting, for 
insiance, an apprehension of immediate judg- 



TO TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 

ments from heaven, as the consequences of iM 
conduct. But it is to be remembered, that the 
attempt to touch the conscience, or to enforce 
obedience, by terrifying the imagination, is, 
under every form, to be reprobated, as aho- 
gether erroneous and highly injurious. This 
mode of proceeding is, commonly, the resort 
of v.eakness and inexperience ; for authority, 
established on righ principles, needs no such 
supports. Superstitious fears of every kind 
are the more to be dreaded, and earnestly 
guarded against, because so pecuharly apt to 
mingle themselves with rehgion, to discolour 
that which in its own nature is full of attraction, 
and which, if not disguised or distorted by the 
imagination, would appear, as it is in truth, a 
reasonable and joyful service. 

Great care is required that children do not 
imbibe terrific and gloomy ideas of death ; nor 
should they incautiously be taken to funerals, 
or allowed to see a corpse. It is desirable to 
dwell on the joys of the righteous in the pres-. 
enre of their heavenly Father, freed from eve- 
ry pain and sorrow, rather than on the state and 



TEARFULNESS AND rORTITUDE. 71 

burial of the body, a subject, very likely, pain- 
fully to affect the imagination. On this point, 
books are often injudicious. It may be well to 
mention, as an instance, the Lines on a Snow- 
drop in that useful and pleasing little work, en- 
titled, *' Original Poems." Here the poor lit- 
tle babe, doomed forev^er to the pit-hole, would 
leave a gloomy impression on the mind of any 
child of quick feeling and imagination : it is 
therefore better to make a point of cutting out 
such passages from a nursery hbrary. 

If children are naturally of a timid, nervous 
constitution, or if, unfortunately, they have im- 
bibed those fears from which we should most 
wish to guard them, much may be done toward 
restoring them to a healthful tone of mind ; — 
but it must be effected by more than common 
skill, and by measures the most gentle and un- 
perceived. Direct opposition, upbraiding a 
child for his cowardice, accusing him of fear- 
ing the dark, of believing in ghosts, &:c., will 
but establish, or perhaps create, the very evils 
we desire to counteract. If a child dread the 
(lark, he must on no account be forced into it. 



72 FEARFULNE3S AND FORTITUDE. 

i)i' left in bed against his will without a candle. 
We had better appear neither to see his weak- 
ness, or consider it of importance, and for a 
time silently to yield to it, raiher than to notice 
or oppose it ; at the same time losing no oppor- 
tunity of infusing a counteracting principle. He 
may very soon be tempted to join his bolder 
companions in a dark room at a game of play, 
or to hunt for sugar-plums, especially if his 
mother or nurse will join in the sport, till he 
become accustomed to it. Well chosen stories, 
without any apparent reference to himself, may 
be related to him, displaying the good effects 
of courage, as opposed to the folly and ill con- 
sequence of cowardice. As he advances in 
age and strength of mind, he will be able to 
profit by some reasoning on the subject. We 
may animate him to overcome his fears by an 
exertion of his ow^n, encouraging him by re- 
wards and approbation ; but let the efforts 
which he makes be wholly voluntary, and not 
by constraint. 

It is not uncommon, with the idea of remov- 
ing the groundless fears of children, to give 



FEAE.FULNESS AND FORTITUDE. To 

tliem histories of strange, terrific, or perhaps, 
ghost-hke appearances, to be in the sequel clear- 
ed up and explained away. But experience 
will convince us, that this is a very mistaken 
system ; for, in childhood, the imagination is 
quick and retentive, but the reasoning powers 
slow and weak. The alarming image and ner- 
vous impression may continue, whilst the subse- 
quent explanation and practical inference will 
most hkely be forgotten. 

There are few more fruitful sources of fear- 
fulness than mystery : it is therefore a mistake 
to assume an air of concealment toward chil- 
dren — to speak in their presence by hints, or in 
a suppressed voice, on subjects unsuited to them. 
We are apt also to forget how many things are 
to them fearful and mysterious, which experience 
has rendered to us familiar and simple. In the 
course of conversation, and amidst the common 
occurrences of hfe, many things will strike the 
mind and even the senses of a child as strange 
and alarming, merely because he understands 
them but by halves ; and this not unfrequently 
arises from the thoughtless manner in which we 



74 TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 

are apt to speak before children of distressing 
circumstances, as of terrible diseases and other 
calamities. Such impressions, when perceived, 
ought neither to be ridiculed, nor carlessly over- 
looked. We should endeavour to ascertain 
from what they proceed, and to state the sub- 
ject in question in so simple and familiar a man- 
ner as may strip it of its alarming character. 
To succeed in this, it will be necessary to culti- 
vate that quick penetration which readily under- 
stands the looks and manners of children, a lan- 
guage which often conveys more than their 
words. I had, a few weeks since, an example 
of this with a little boy of my own, about five 
years old. He was walking with me in the 
dusk of the evening ; as we passed one corner 
of the garden, I found my hand squeezed more 
lightly, and an inchnation to cling to my side, 
but nothing was said ; in returning to the same 
spot, this was again and again repeated. I was 
certain it must arise from an emotion of fear, 
though I could perceive nothing likely to pro- 
duce it. I would not however pass it over, and 
at length induced my little companion to con- 



FBARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 7o 

fess, — "Mamma ! I think I see under that bush 
an animal with very great ears !" I immedi- 
ately approached the object, gently persuading 
him to follow me, when we found to our amuse- 
ment a large tin watering pot, and "the very 
great ears" converted into the spout and han- 
dle. Had the squeeze of the hand been un- 
heeded, a fearful association with the dark, and 
whh that spot in the garden, would, there is lit- 
tle doubt, long have continued. 

In endeavouring; to cjuard those under our 
care from fearfulness, we are not to forget the 
importance of inspiring them with prudence. 

Fearfulness does but embitter life with the 
useless dread of evils, which cannot or may not 
happen — prudence promotes cur safety by 
teaching us to use all reasonable precautions 
against positive evils. Whilst, therefore, we do 
our utmost to secure our children from useless 
fears, we should strongly but coolly warn them 
against real dangers, as those from fire, water, 
&;c. Although prudence and fearfulness are 
sometimes confounded, it is remarkable how of- 
ten they act in direct opposition to each other, 



70 FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 

the coward being hurried by his groundless or 
imaginary terrors into actual dangers. 

" Fortitude is not only essential as a Christian virtue in 
itself, but as a guard to every other virtue."' Locke. 

Although by securing our children from use- 
less fears and alarming impressions, we gain the 
first step toward the cultivation of courage and 
fortitude, yet this alone is not sufficient. If we 
would ensure the attainment of these excellent 
endowments, it will be necessary to infuse into 
our system of education a certain portion of 
resolution and hardihood. We must bear in 
mind that we have to train up those entrusted 
to us not for a hfe of rewards, ease and pleas- 
ure, but for a world, in Vvhich they will meet 
with pain, sickness, danger and sorrow. That 
we are bringing them up, not only to be useful ' 
in the various engagements of this life ; but 
chiefly to carry on that great work, the salvation 
of their souls, in which fortitude and self-denial 
are essential ! 

Although we cannot be too careful to pro- 
mo\Q the happiness of children, an object sure- 



TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 77 

Iv too often neglected in education, yet do we 
not defeat our purpose in proportion as we 
unfit them for the hfe upon which they are en- 
tering by too tender and enervating a system ? 
By so doing, we increase their sensibihty to 
pain, whilst w^e add nothing to their sources of 
true enjoyment. It is the path of wisdom to 
steer between opposite evils, avoiding on the 
one hand every appearance of unkindness, 
or a want of feeling and sympathy — on the 
other, a fostering to excess an over-indulgence, 
a morbid anxiety and sensibility. " We should 
distinguish between the wants of nature and ca- 
price," bringing up our children as little de- 
pendent as possible upon bodily indulgence and 
luxuries ; accustoming them to the plainest 
food, to hard beds, airy rooms, and, as far as 
their constitutions will allow of it, to hardy 
habits. That tendency to self-indulgence, dain- 
tiness and waste, so often to be observed in 
those who are living in the midst of affluence, 
is to be carefully repressed in early Hfe. — 
Something, perhaps, may be done toward this 
important end by positive restraints ; but how 



78 TEARFULNESS AND FORTltUDE. 

much more effectually shall we accomplish our 
purpose, if we can form such hahits, and esta- 
blish such principles, as will lead children to 
deny themselves ! Nor will it be difficult to 
represent to them that a lavish and intemperate 
use of the gifts of our heavenly Father is a spe- 
cies of ingratitude to him, and of injustice to 
those of our fellow creatures who need the 
blessings so abundantly bestowed upon us. 

We should endeavour to furnish children 
with a shield against the lesser pains, the daily 
portion of vexation and disappointment, from 
which even the happiest childhood is not ex- 
empt, and thus to prepare them for the more 
serious trials of advanced hfe. We must be- 
ware of giving heed to the language of mur- 
muring or discontent, " cheering but not be- 
moaning them" under their little misfortunes, 
and especially discouraging the habit of crying 
and fretting on every slight accident, and pass- 
ing pain ; for such a habit induces effeminacy 
of character, and the self-government requir- 
ed to suppress complaints and tears, is strength- 
ening to the mind, and calculated to lead on, 
"by lesser victories, to nobler efforts hereafter. 



FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 79 

When children are sick, or in pain, whilst 
doing onr utmost to reheve, to solace and to 
divert them, it is yet necessary for their saJces^ 
hard as it may be to ourselves, to mingle 
resolution with our tenderness — for if, by an 
excess of indulgence, by too great a display of 
sympathy, we weaken the mind or spoil the 
temper ; in that proportion we add to their suf- 
ferings ; and I believe it will generally be 
found, as I was convinced myself by the pain- 
ful experience of many months, that some dis- 
cipline, combined with the tenderest attentions, is 
as necessary for the comfort of children in sick- 
ness as in health. It is also of importance early 
to encourage them to submit with resolution to 
the necessary infliction of painful remedies, and 
to think lightly of them, as tooth-drawings taking 
medicine, and using other means which often 
form a considerable part of the trial of sickness. 

In bringing up children at home, care is re- 
quired that they should not imbibe a sense of 
self-importance, and personal superiority. In 
flomestic famihes, secluded from general socie- 



80 FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 

ty, this is by no means an unfrequent evil. 
The little ones being in fact the primary ob- 
ject to their parents, imperceptibly catch the 
feehng, and are discomposed when put out of 
their own way, or thrown into the back ground ; 
whereas an important branch of the hardihood 
of mind, so much to be desired in children, is 
that self-subjection which induces a readiness 
*' to take the lowest place," and to yield their 
own inclinations for the accommodation of their 
superiors. Tiie hourly exercise of self-denial, 
and the necessity of considering the interests 
of others, which arise from living in a commu- 
nity, greatly promote this invaluable temper ; 
and if all education require *' sound wisdom 
and discretion," a double portion is needed 
with a single child. 

We shall succeed in the early cultivation of 
fortitude and patience, chiefly by influence, and 
the careful formation of habits. There are cer- 
tain principles, however, relating to the subjects 
before us, not to be prematurely brought for- 
ward, but ever to be kept in view, thoroughly 



TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 81 

to be established in our own minds, and strongly 
impressed upon those of our children, as their 
powers strengthen and opportunities offer. These 
are the principles of overcoming self, of strug- 
gling against natural infirmities, of enduring pre- 
sent pain, for tlie sake of futm-e good, and still 
more, of iiumble submission to the will of God, 
receiving, as from the hand of a gracious father, 
not only our many comforts and blessings, but 
the portion of sorrow and disappointment which 
he sees meet to dispense to us for our good. 
When inculcating principles, we shall find it a 
great assistance with children, to enforce them 
by examples, and to engage the feelings and 
imagination by interesting narratives, which may 
illustrate our instructions, and elevate the mind. 
Such, on the subject before us, are the stories 
in Evenings at Home, on " True Heroism," 
and " Perseverance against Fortune," — many 
parts of Sandford and jMerton, and of " True 
Stories for Children" — selections from the lives 
of eminent men ; as of Howard, k,c. From 
profane history ; as the accounts of Reguhis, 
of the citizens of Calais, kc. From the char- 



82 TEARFULNESS AND FOilTITUDE. 

acters of Scripture ; as Abraham's and Ell's 
submission, Stephen's martyrdom, and above 
all, from the life and death of him, who set us a 
perfect " example that we should follow his 
steps," whose history is indeed too sacred to 
be rendered common, but must be imparted to 
children as they are able to rehsh and to enter 
into it. 

I would venture to remind those engaged in 
the work of education, of the necessity of prac- 
tising themselves that fortitude and patience, 
which they are desirous of cultivating in their 
young charge. A mother especially, and in her 
feelings an affectionate nurse will closely par- 
ticipate, is vulnerable at so many points ; the 
objects of her tenderest affection are exposed 
to so many diseases, so many hazards, that she 
may becom.e the prey to endless fears, equally 
painful to herself, and injurious to her children, 
without the habitual exercise of self-govern- 
ment and principle — a principle founded on the 
conviction that it is not in ourselves to preserve 
life and health ; that with all our care and vigi- 



FEARFULNESS AND FOTITITLDE. 83 

lance, it is comparatively little we can do, and 
that after taking every reasonable precaution, 
our only lasting resource is to commit ourselves, 
and those nearest to us, to him " in whom we 
liv^e and move, and have our being," who hath 
numbered the very hairs of our head, and who 
suffereth not even a sparrow to fall to the 
ground without him. It is not sufficient barely 
to acknowledge these divine truths ; they must 
be " inwardly digested," and formed into prac- 
tical principles to enable a tender parent to 
prepare her children for " the warfare of life," 
and to meet with composure and submission, 
the vicissitudes and anxieties necessarily at- 
tendant on bringing up a family. Nor is the 
utter fruitlessness of excessive care to be for- 
gotten : such care, by enervating the mind, and 
weakening the body, altogether defeats its own 
end, making way for the very evils it would 
guard against, and what is more pitiable than 
the state of that child, who, having imbibed his 
mother's sensations, lives a prey to the continu- 
al dread of the common casualties of life ^ 
It may be well here to add a particular can- 



84 FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 

tion to nurses, who are too often inclined in 
times of sickness and solicitude, to give way to 
their own feehngs, and thus to unfit themselves 
for rendering the help and support so much 
needed by the mother, as well as by their httle 
patients. A tearful or melancholy countenance 
has in itself a depressing eflect, and a steady 
cheerful temper of mind is almost as important 
a requisite in a nurse as tenderness and affec- 
tion. Some minds are naturally endowed v.ith 
such a portion of fortitude, as enables them to 
meet with comparative ease the roughnesses and 
trials of life ; but with most of us so invaluable 
an attainment is to be acquired only by diligent 
cultivation ; by little and httle, by many efforts 
and daily practice, by previous preparation and 
habit of mind, radier than by a sudden effort 
at the moment of trial. It is a remark of no 
small moment, that " health should be the pre- 
paration for sickness, and prosperity for adver- 
shy." We should labour, therefore, to acquire 
an habitual composure, self-possession, and pre- 
sence of mind, and as far as possible, to impart 
the same to our cliildren ; to be ahvays quiet. 



FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 85 

c[uick in applying the necessary remedies, not 
yielding to sudden alarms and agitations ; never 
indulging in the injurious habit of screaming or 
uttering exclamations on the various accidents 
of a nursery ; nor urging as a plea for such fail- 
ures, a weakness of nerves. This, in the present 
day, is often brought forward as a cover for in- 
firmities, which are rather to be condemned, 
and resolutely overcome, than palliated or in- 
dulged. 

It is desirable for parents, and those entrust- 
ed with the care of children, to instruct them- 
selves in the best method of proceeding, under 
the sudden diseases, and dangers to which chil- 
dren are the most liable, as convulsions, choking, 
wounds, profuse bleeding, accidents from fire, 
water,* &tc. 



* See Dr. Aikin's chapter on Pi-esence of Mind in his 
Evenings at Home. 



86' XNBEPENDENCE. 



INDEPENDENCE. 



Connected v/ltli tliat strength of character, 
the cultivation of which has been recommended, 
is independence. It will be of great advantage 
to children if they are early induced to put forth 
their powers ; to resort first to the resources 
within themselves ; and as far as possible, to 
obtain their objects by their own exertions. 
Such an exercise strengthens the faculties, and 
gradually prepares a child for acting alone ; 
whilst the habit of having every thing done for 
him, of depending upon others for all his enjoy- 
ments, enervates the mind, and has a tendency 
to weaken the active powers. The " I can't," 
with which children are apt to reply to the com- 
mands given to them is rarely to be admitted. 
" I can't is too often brought forward merely as 
an excuse for indolence, or an apology for diso- 
bedience. Our pupils must learn that success 
depends upon resolute exertion ; and that, un- 
.der certain limitations, it is a truth that man can 



INDEPENDENCE. 87 

do what he chooses to do. This conviction, 
adopted as a practical principle, will be power- 
ful in its effects ; and will materially contribute 
to improve the capacities, and augment the use- 
fulness of any character."^ Children will act 
with prudence, will employ and take care of 
themselves, very much in proportion as we lead 
them to do so ; we must manifest our confi- 
dence in them, if we would render them wor- 
thy of it. Where can we find a being more 
helpless, more unable to contrive for himself; 
to guard against danger, or to escape from it 
when it comes upon him, than a child v/ho has 
been brought up by his mother's or his nurse's 
side, looking to her for every enjoyment ; and 
feeling his safety to be wholly dependent on her 



* " Dr Hunter, the celebrated surgeon, being asked b;y 
•vvhat methods he had contrived to succeed in all his various 
tmderlakings, answered, * My rule is deliberately to consider 
before I commence, whether the thing be practicable. If it 
be not practicable, I do not attempt it — if it be practicable, I 
can accomplish it, if I give sufficient pains to it — and having 
begun, I never stop till tiie thing is done. To this rule I 
owe all my success.' " 



8S INDEPENDENCE. 

care ? On the other hand, it may excite sur- 
prise to observe how much good sense and seli- 
possession children will display, when early ac- 
customed to depend upon themselves. This 
object, like every other connected with educa- 
tion, is not to be attained by great efforts, but 
gradually, and by gentle measures. We are 
not to impose upon children that which is be- 
yond their strength or skill ; but we may lead 
them to take pleasure in accomplishing their 
objects without assistance ; to feel it a point of 
honour to pursue them, notwithstanding some 
difficulties ; to extricate themselves, to submit 
to trouble, and to surmount obstacles. 

As it is by the " neglect of beginnings" that 
bad habits are contracted, we should not over- 
look even those minor occurrences of hfe, which 
early afford opportunities for inculcating a spirit 
of independence ; for example : a little child 
runs to the door, impatiently turns and twists 
the handle, but cannot open it ; the nurse 
springs up and does h for him. But it would 
have been better had she kindly encouraged him 
m exert his own skilly and, with the aid of her 



I 



INDEPENDENCE. 89 

instructions, to effect his purpose. He may by 
degrees take care of, and put away liis own 
play-things, dress himself, he. ; but in urging 
him to these little efforts, care w^ill be required 
that we do not carry it so far, as to make them 
too serious a business, or to try his temper. 
As he advances in age, let him in his walks 
climb the gate and hedge alone ; attend to his 
own garden ; saddle his own poney ; and as 
far as he is able, find amusements for himself 
in his play-hours. When it can be done with 
safety, he may, occasionally, be entrusted 
with the care of a younger brother or sister. 
This has a tendency to endear children to each 
other, the elder feels the younger to be under 
his particular protection, whilst the younger 
looks up to his brother for help and defence. 
By cultivating these sentiments, we may check 
the oppression, teasing, and, consequently, dis- 
putes so common between the elder and youn- 
ger children of a family. 

It is not unfrequently the case that mothers 
and nurses are pleased by the unquahfied de- 



90 INDEPENDENCE. 

pendence of those under their care ; and, for 
self-gratification, encourage it, at the expense 
of their cliildren. They strive to retain their 
influence, and to secure a selfish afi:ection, by 
rendering their darlings helpless, and by foster- 
ing their babyish habits. But it is to be remem- 
bered that general independence and vigour of 
character are perfectly compatible with the 
dependence of affection. This, indeed, is an 
object of first-rate importance, and must neces- 
sarily spring out of that tenderest connection — 
the connection between a mother and her chil- 
dren ; it must be the result of those innumera- 
ble kindnesses, of that flow of love and sympa- 
thy, which an affectionate and judicious mother 
cannot but uniformly display toward her chil- 
dren. Such a mother needs not the aid of a 
morbid dependence to retain her influence, she 
has no occasion to nurture the infirmities of her 
children, that she may strengthen their affec- 
tion. It is to be desired that children should 
possess the greatest tenderness toward a mother, 
an enjoyment and delight in her society, a rev- 
^ence for her opinions, and submission to her 



INDEPENDENCE. 91 

authority, combined with power to act alone^ 
and to pursue their independent objects with 
vigour and pleasure ; for it is necessary to all, 
but more especially to boys, that they should 
mingle strength with affection ; that they should 
be manly^ as well as tender, and be trained to 
help, as well as to be helped. 



03 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 



INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, AND 
ATTENTION. 

As Idleness is the inlet to most other evils, 
so it is by industry that the powers of the mind 
are turned to good account. That so httle is 
effected by most people, may be attributed 
much more to the waste and misapplication, than 
to the want of natural powers ; and it will gen- 
erally be found that usefulness of character de- 
pends more upon diligence, than any thing else, 
if we except religious principle. It is therefore 
highly important to train up children to habits of 
industry, application, and perseverance. They 
should early be made sensible of the infinite 
value of time ; they should be made to under- 
stand that no economy is so essential as the 
economy of time ; and that, as by squandering 
pence, we are very soon deprived of pounds ; 
so, by wasting minutes, we shall lose not only 
hours, but days and months. They ought not, 
therefore, to be allowed to remain idle, " be- 



AND ATTENTION. 93 

cause it is not worth while" to undertake any 
employment; for this is an excuse often brought 
forward during those intervals of time which oc- 
cur in the course of almost every day. We 
mistake, if we suppose that industry is to be 
confined to lesson hours : children may be as 
idle when at play, as over their books : we must 
therefore take care that the time devoted to re- 
laxation be properly and happily employed. 
The first dawnings of a listless, dissatisfied dis- 
position are to be checked : such a propensity 
will lead a child to loll in his chair — to stretch 
on the ground, rather than trouble himself to 
join in the games of his more active compan- 
ions : it will lead him to seek for amusement, 
first, in one thing — then, in another, but to rest 
content with none. To counteract this tenden- 
cy, it is necessary to supply children with pleas- 
urable objects — varied, but not too numerous — 
and to encourage a vigorous and persevering 
pursuit of them. It is desirable, if in the coun- 
try, that they should have gardens of their own, 
tools, a poney, &:c. ; and we shall find it an im- 
portant advantage, if we are able to inspire 



94 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 

them with a taste for reading as an amusement. 
This will be promoted by the habit of buying 
and collecting books for themselves ; each child 
enjoying the privilege of a httle library of his 
own. 

One of the duties of a nurse is to employ hei* 
charges well in the absence of their parents* 
If, for example, she provide herself with paper^ 
pencils, paints, little pictures, &ic. to cut out and 
paste, as employment for wet days and winter 
evenings, many hours may be spent harmoni- 
ously and happily, which, in an ill regulated 
nursery, would pass in idleness, and, conse- 
quently, quarrelling and mischief. For children, 
who are brought up in domestic and natural 
habits, it will not be difficult to find an abun- 
dant variety of wholesome and simple pleasures; 
and we should carefully avoid exciting a desire 
for artificial amusements, which, if they pro- 
duce no other ill consequence, are hke all unne- 
cessary stimulants, enervating in their effects, 
vitiating to the taste, and hkely to abate the rel- 
ish for more common and more valuable enjoy- 
ments. Among such objectionable amusements 



AND ATTENTION. 9,5 

are to be ranked those of the theatre, cards, and 
every species of infantine gaming.* 

We must endeavour to inspire children with 
the spirit inculcated in the following precept — 
" Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with 
thy might," Eccles. ix. 10, — to bring them gra- 
dually *' to be a whole man to every thing." 
This is an acquirement fraught with the most 
important advantages, though of very difficult 
attainment. So volatile is the mind during child- 
hood, so averse to restraint, that it is only by 
very slow degrees the habits, here recommend- 
ed, can be formed. We must not expect com- 
plete success with any children ; and, with 
some, the difficulty will appear nearly insur- 
mountable. Energy of mind, like poiver in 
mechanism, if once attained, may be directed 
and applied to a variety of objects ; but the 
want of this energy — an indifference, a spirit- 
lessness of character — is a defect, most difficult 



* By "infantine gaming," it is intended to include o:iIy 
tho'^e games in which children plaj'- for monev, or vrhich, at 
^east, may lead to their doing so at some future period. 



DO INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 

to be overcome. Our ordinary resources are 
apt to fail with minds of tliis cast ; for, with 
them, the hope of obtaining a desired object ; 
the wish for rewards ; the love of reputation, 
and even a sense of duty, will readily yield to 
every difKculty, and rarely triumph over that 
aversion to labour, which, if suffered to prevail, 
has a tendency to undermine whatever is excel- 
lent or valuable. In the treatment ol children 
of this character, a double portion of patience 
and perseverance is required ; and, with all our 
efforts, we may appear to effect very little ; but 
that little will probably lead to more. We must 
observe their tastes ; and, if possible, excite ac- 
tivity, by presenting them with objects which 
particularly accord with their inchnation. We 
may sometimes, with those of good dispositions, 
ac-complish our purpose, by engaging their af- 
fections, and working upon love more than up- 
on fear. It w^ill also be especially necessary to 
guard against that deceit, which is too often the 
consequence of indolence ; for a child, habitu- 
ally indolent, will make it his object to get 
through every employment, particularly his ie?- 



AND ATTENTION. D7 

sons, with as little trouble to himself as possible ; 
and the consciousness of his deficiencies — the 
consciousness of having failed in duty, will, al- 
most inevitably, induce him to take refuge in 
falsehood or mean excuses. We should, there- 
fore, as far as possible, avoid trusting such chil- 
dren to learn their lessons alone ; for this will 
be exposing them to temptation. Let it be an 
object to give them employments which they 
cannot evade — from which there are no means 
of escaping ; — something to be done, and not 
merely to be learnt. For instance, it will be 
better to set them so many hues to write, rather 
than to learn by heart. If tasks must be set, 
they should be made as short, as defined, as 
mechanical as possible, and learnt in the pres- 
ence of the teacher. To all children, perhaps, 
the rudiments of learning may be made easier, 
by rendering them as mechanical as the sub- 
ject admits of. It may be better not to tell a 
little child that he shall spell his lessons till he 
does it without a mistake, but to desire him to 
spell it so many times over, aloud and distinct- 
ly, as the business of the day. — Children will 
9 



98 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 

also learn more readily, when their lessons ar^ 
regulated by established rules. If a child be 
uncertain how much he is to read, he will pro- 
bably murmur when the portion is shewn to 
him. Rather let it be fixed, that, to read so 
much, to spell so many words, so many times, &c. 
is to be the regular business of every day. He 
will then come with a prepared mind, which is 
as important to the success and good temper of 
children as of ourselves. On this account, a 
daily perseverance in teaching, and regular 
hours, are necessary. The habit of omitting 
lessons, on every slight excuse, has an injuri- 
ous effect ; and a child \\ ill come very unwil- 
lingly to be tauglit, who, from his past experi- 
ence, daily hopes that he may put off the task, 
or escape it ahogether. 

It ought to be our object, that our pupils 
should advance surely, rather than rapidly. 
The most impoitant advantage of lessons, — of 
regular daily lessons, in chikihood, is this : — 
That ihcy afford us an excellent opportunity of 
enforcing habits of self-subjection, diligence, 
.and attention, and an opportunity of cultivating 



AND ATTENTION. 99 

& tasic for intellectual pursuits. In the first ten 
years of life, it is not the quantity of knowledge 
acquired, but the habit of learning well, that is 
of consequence. With very young children, 
however, even this principle is to be acted up- 
on with moderation. It is a rule that such a 
portion should be readj spelt, Sec. : and our 
object is to have this portion done ivdl ; but we 
must be prepared for constant fluctuations in 
our Kttle pupils. The fixed portion of business 
must, indeed, be done ; and if vre perceive a 
spirit of self-will and disobedience, this must 
be corrected. But that our pupils will be, at 
one time, more industrious ; at another, lesr> 
so ; — at one lime, vigorous ; at another, list- 
less ; — at one time, quick ; at another, appar- 
ently slow and dull — must be expected : it is 
the nature, the constitution, of children. These 
changes are to be borne with unrufiled patience 
and quietness, and expressions of displeasure 
carefully avoided ; for it is hurtful, and utterly 
useless, to upbraid children with dulness and 
inattention. Let us get through the lesson — 
set through it as well as \\q can ; and then, if 



iOO INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 

the child display do positive naughtiness, leave 
it. The fixed portion of husiness being com- 
pleted, the child is to be dismissed ; and there 
is little doubt we shall accomplish more at some 
future period. 

But the self-love of parents and teachers is 
Very apt to insinuate itself into this employment. 
We do not hke that other children should read 
and write better than ours ; we are mortified at 
not gaining the immediate fruit of our labour — 
that the directions given to-day are not prac- 
tised to-day. Our pupil seldom keeps pace 
with our impatience ; this irritates the temper^ 
and brings down complaints and punishments 
upon the poor child, for defects which often 
arise more from a want of powder than from a 
w^ant of w^ill. Thus, so painful an association 
with his books is excited, as may prove of se- 
rious disadvantage to him in after-life. This 
mistake is generally to be observed in young 
mothers, and those unaccustomed to the infir- 
mities of childhood. It should be remember- 
ed, that the actual result of each individual les~ 
.son is of little importance, if no bad habits are 



AND ATTENTION. 101 

formed or wrong tempers excited. It is by a 
long succession of lessons that progress will be 
perceived ; by ' line upon line, and precept upon 
precept.' Not that we are to expect that children 
can be properly taught without discipline, or that 
the whole of learning can be rendered merely an 
amusement. Some objects absolutely require 
labour and self-subjection ; but at the same time 
there is no doubt that a judicious teacher, with 
many children, may excite a great deal of spirit 
in learning, and may impart instruction on a va- 
riety of subjects so as to interest and delight 
rather than fatigue. If once we are able to en- 
hst in the cause the inclination of a child, the 
chief difficulty is removed : there will be little 
doubt of his success, and we render him a last- 
ing service. How careful then should we be to 
make learning as agreeable as possible, to be- 
ware of exciting disgust towards study, and to 
nurture a literary taste, not only as good in it- 
self, but as an important preservative from evil, 
especially to boys, in future life. 

It is to be regretted that the common mode 
of teaching has more to do with the memory 
9* 



102 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE^ 

than the understanding. With many children 
whose innumerable " tasks are painfully learnt 
and darkly understood," the memory is exer- 
cised, not to say burthened, whilst the real 
cultivation of the mind, the improvement of the 
reasoning powers, and the formation of good in- 
tellectual habits, are overlooked.* Is it not to 
this cause that often may be attributed the im- 
perfect and superficial knowledge, the want of 
literary taste in those who have been taught 
merely by the common school routine ; and is it 
not desirable that such deficiences be remedied 
as far as possible, during the intervals of time 
passed at home, by directing the attention to 
Enghsh reading ; to the study of natural his- 
tory, and other interesting pursuits f As it is 



•'* See Locke on the conduct of the Understandhig, and 
Watts on the Mind ; books, from which many excellent hints 
may be derived on the subject of education. Of the latter. 
Dr. Johnson remarks, " Few books have been perused by 
me with greater pleasure than Watts' Improvement of the 
mind. Whoever has the care of instructing others-, may be 
charged with deficiency in his duty, if this book is not recom- 
SI ended." 



AND ATTENTION. 103 

sensible objects which the soonest attract atten- 
tion in early life, the works of nature may easily 
be rendered the medium of continual instruc- 
tion and amusement to children. On this ac- 
count, natural history, in its various branches, is 
particularly useful, as both pleasure and im- 
provement may be derived from the habit of ob- 
serving and examining the various objects with 
which we are surrounded.* 

A high standard is desirable in intellectual 
pursuits, as well as in those of still greater value. 
Nothing can be less ornamental than accomplish- 
ments performed in a poor style, and with bad 
taste, or than that superficial and imperfect 
knowledge which 

" is proud that it has learnt so much." 



But whilst w^e endeavour to inspire our children 
with a desire to do well, v,'hatever they under- 



* The advantages of such a habit are displayed in that high- 
ly interesting work, While's Natural History of Selbourne > 
and in the Story of Evenings at Home, entitled? •' Eyes and 
HO Eyes." 



104 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 

take, whilst we endeavour to turn to the best ac- 
count, both their time and talents, we must be- 
ware of raising our expectations too high ; for 
if an ambitious spirit insinuate itself into the bus- 
iness of education, it will be a source of mortifi- 
cation to the parent, and of irritation to the chil- 
dren. It is but too probable that in this case 
the latter will be over-urged by the former; and 
thus those very objects frustrated, which have 
been pursued with too much eagerness. 

In cultivating habits of industry, application 
and perseverance, we are to remember that 
there is a medium to be observed in this, as in 
every other branch of education. These qual- 
ities are of so much value, that they demand a 
full share of our attention : but we are not so 
to pursue them as to infringe upon the necessa- 
ry liberty, and the truest enjoyment of children. 
It ought again to be repeated, that all unneces- 
sary restraint is only so much unnecessary evil. 
We must also treat with much tenderness that 
lassitude and apparent indolence, which even 
slight indisposition will occasion in children. 



AND ATTENTION* 105 

In the short time devoted to lessons, we may 
gradually employ a stricter discipline ; but, in 
play-hours, although it is a poshive duty strong- 
ly to oppose listlessness and indolence, yet, with 
healthy and well-trained children, we shall find 
little else necessary than to direct their activity, 
to encourage their projects, and to add to their 
pleasures. 



106 VANITY AND AFFECTATION 



VANITY AND AFFECTATION. 

There, are few defects Vvliich appear ear- 
lier than vanity. Chiidren delight in being no- 
ticed and admired, and it is therefore of impor- 
tance, that amidst all our affectionate attentions 
to them, all our efforts for their good and hap- 
piness, we guard against nurturing their self- 
love, self-importance, and fondness for admira- 
tion. Children ought to be the objects of our 
assiduous attention -, we should be wilhng to 
give up our time, not only for the more serious 
business of education, but to please, to amuse, 
and to make them happy. This, however, 
may be done without throwing back their atten- 
tion on themselves. We may shew them every 
kindness, without flattering their vanity ; but 
here many people are apt to mistake : their no- 
tice is bestowed in so injudicious a manner. 
If, for instance, upon the entrance of children 
into a room, a general whisper of approbation 
go round the circle j if remarks are made on 



VANITY AND AFFECTATION. 107 

their persons, their carriage, and their manner, 
if their sayings are eagerly hstened to and rc- 
lieaied in their presence, the ill effect is inevi- 
table. 

Praise and encouragement, judiciously and 
sparingly administered, will have effects very 
different from those produced by the kind of 
notice here objected to. The one injures while 
it pleases, leading the subjects of it to think of 
themselves, and exciting a self-complacency, 
which is very soon followed by display ; the 
other is a just reward of merit, and a stimulus 
to what is good. In bestowing praise, how- 
ever, even when most deserved, we should bear 
in mind the great importance of leading our 
children to a habit of examining their motives, of 
doing right from a sense of duty, rather than 
from the love of applause, or the desire of ex- 
celhng others. Whilst we stimulate to exertion, 
care must at the same time be taken to uphold 
the beauty of humility as the chief ornament of 
childhood ; but unless this, in some measure, 
exist in our own hearts, unless we ourselves are 
iiiflueuced by that meek and quiet spirit which 



108 VANITY AND AFFECTATION^ 

js in the sight of God of great price, there is 
Httle hope that we shall succeed in our endea- 
vours to foster it in others. 

An excess of personal vanity is rarely to be 
overcome by direct opposition, or positive re- 
straint. We shall be more likely to succeed in 
counteracting such a disposition by allowing to 
external appearance its due value, its due share 
of attention — by inculcating general moderation 
in every selfish gratification, and still more, by 
improving the tone of mind, and raising it to 
higher tastes and better objects. Dress should 
be treated as a matter of very secondary impor- 
tance ; new and smart clothes ought not to be 
offered as a reward for good conduct ; and 
whether they are to be of one shape or another, 
this colour or that, is never to be brought forward 
as an affair of consequence. Too much restraint 
on this subject, generally defeats its own end, and 
renders dress, just what we should wish it not to 
be, an object of unnecessary thought and at- 
tention. The desire to please, so strongly im- 
planted in the heart, must be allowed to have 



VANITY AND AFFECTATION. 109 

some play, and when kept within due bounds 
is not to be despised or treated as a fault ; 
while we strictly avoid all that is incorrect or 
extravagant, we should not, unnecessarily, ex- 
pose our children to the pain and awkwardness 
of feeling themselves singular in manner and 
appearance. 

Closely connected with vanity is affectation, 
to which children are also extremely prone. 
Nothing can be more delightful than the inno- 
cent prattle and merriment of a child, when it 
flows simply from the gaiety of his heart ; we 
should encourage it, and be merry with him ; 
but if w^e have the weakness, may we not say, 
the unkindness to let him see that he is an ob- 
ject of attention and admiration, to put him up- 
on shewing off his pretty ways, for the amuse- 
ment of our friends, or allow it to be done for 
the laugh of the kitchen ; we gain our object 
indeed, he is sprightly and talkative, but no lon- 
ger because he is gay at heart, but because he 
longs to be noticed and admired ; and this is af- 
fectation. Those who are accustomed to chil- 
dren will be able quickly to discern affectation, 

not only in their words and actions, but eve.i in 
10 



110 VANITY AND AFFECTATION. 

their looks, and should always disappoint it-^^ 
always receive it with coldness and disapproba- 
tion. 

We shall succeed very imperfectly in secur- 
ing our children from vanity and affectation, un- 
less we first set a guard upon our own conduct; 
unless we ourselves are acting from better mo- 
tives than the love of admiration, or the desire 
of excelling others ; unless our own manners 
are simple and natural. If it be the main ob- 
ject of those who are engaged in education, 
that themselves or their children should please 
and excel, a similar spirit will most likely shew 
itself in the objects of their care. If we allow 
ourselves to speak in affected tones of voice ; 
fondling our children to excess, and using ex- 
travagant expressions of affection and admira- 
tion, a defect so frequent amongst nurses, some- 
thing answering to it will certainly appear in 
them ; for we shall find that they are wonder- 
fully alive to sympathy and imitation : quick in 
discerning what passes before them, especially 
if it regard themselves, and, when we least sup- 
pose it, strongly affected by the conduct and 
fcelins; of those around them. 



DELICACY* 111 



DELICACY. 



On this subject, there is little to be said, for 
it is only those who have refined and delicate 
feelings ; who shrink from all that is coarse or 
impure, and who desire for themselves to be 
"wise unto that which is good, and simple con- 
cerning evil," who can fully appreciate so inval- 
uable a spirit in their children, or, who would 
know how to guard it in them as the choicest 
plant, though of the tenderest growth. If chil- 
dren are tempted to commit other faults, if they 
are misled into other errors ; there is great hope 
that the voice of conscience will be heard, and 
bring them back to the path of duty ; but if the 
purity of the mind be sulhed or lost, this cannot 
be regained : the outward conduct may be cor- 
rect ; but a beauty, a charm, a security to all 
that is good, is gone. The necessity of giving 
children good principles is generally acknowl- 
edged, but the importance of inspiring them 
v/ith good tastes is much oftener overlooked. A 



112 DELICACY. 

correct moral taste will not only prove an inval- 
uable aid to religious principle, but will be a 
safe-guard against the inroads of corruption, 
even when religion has but too little influence on 
the heart. Purity of character is so little in uni- 
son with the spirit of the world, that, unless 
carefully cherished and watched over, we can- 
not hope to retain it, and it is, on this account, 
more than on any other, that companions for 
children should be selected with the greatest 
care; that unguarded intercourse with others is 
to be dreaded ; low company prohibited, and 
that pecuhar discernment and discretion are ne- 
cessar}^, in tlie choice of those, to whose care 
they are entruse;^ 

During the first ten years of life, it is gener- 
ally the case, both with bays and girls, that the 
character is chiefly formed by female influence; 
and how well calculated ought that influence to 
prove, to foster the purity and innocence of 
childhood ! It is only to be lamented that wo- 
men, both in the higher and lower walks of 
life, should endanger that refined delicacy, so 
essential to their character, by ever allowing 



DELICACY. 113 

lliemselves to treat what is impure, as a subject 
of curiosity or amuse luent ; by admitting con- 
versation which is not perfectly dehcate ; by 
reading books of an improper tendency, or by 
devouring promiscuously the contents of our 
public papers.* 

Even httle children are sometimes inclined, 
in their measure, to indelicate conversation, and 
will indulge in it, for the amusement of each 
other, and to excite a laugh ; but, in nothing 
has a licence of tongue a more corrupting ef- 
fect ; and any tendency to indehcacy in words 
or actions, is one of the few things in children, 
which ought to be treated with severity. An in- 
correct word, or an improper trick, in infancy, 
may at the time, be amusing, as appearing to 
spring from childish playfulness and humour; 
but here an object of no small importance is at 
stake : we are to manifest our disapprobation, 



* Perhaps no amusement can be less suitable than this for 
-elder children, or young people, especially girls, and it is sur- 
prising that newspapers are so often entrusted to them. 

10* 



114 DELICACY. 

both towards the offender, and those who are 
amused at his faidt, and we must take care that 
our looks correspond with our conduct ; for a 
secret smile will more than counteract the ef- 
fect of the severest reproof. 

A great deal on the subject before us, will 
depend on the nice principles, the correct pro- 
priety, and the constant watchfulness of a nurse : 
for it is by a strict, and minute attention to little 
things, that modest and refined habits are form- 
ed, and a disgust induced at all that is improper 
and vulgar. A nurse cannot be too much 
guarded in what she does or says in the pres^ 
ence of children, nor must she fancy that 
they are always infants, or less alive than her- 
self, to what passes before them. At the same 
time, the precautions taken should be perceived 
as Httle as possible, for she will defeat her end, 
if she excite curiosity, by giving the idea that 
there is something to be concealed. 

Diligence and regular employment are great 
safe-guards to purity, for it is the indolent and 
vacant mind, that is the most susceptible of im- 
proper impressions. 



DELICACY. 115 

When cliildren ask embarrassing questions, 
we are not to deceive them, or resort to a false- 
hood, that we may keep them in ignorance. 
If we receive such questions, with an unmoved 
countenance, and seeming indifference ; without 
the least air of mystery or concealment, and 
with no apparent awkwardness or confusion, we 
may answer them, with truth, though perhaps, 
only in part, without exciting further curiosity, 
or improperly opening their minds, and we may 
easily prevent their pursuing the subject, by di- 
verting their thoughts to other objects. It is al- 
so to be remembered, that there are some 
things, W'hich, it is safer for children to learn 
from their parents, than from those who are less 
judicious and less guarded ; for, in many cases, 
it is not so much the matter of fact, as an im- 
proper spirit in conveying it. which is injurious 
to the mind. 



il6 MANNERS AND ORDER. 



MANNERS AND ORDER. 

Locke considers that manner is the object 
of next importance to rehgion and virtue, to be 
preferred to learning, and it is evident that there 
is no passport so good in the world ; nothing 
that adds so great a lustre to virtue, or that so 
well brings into daily use, more sohd acquire- 
ments. " Good manners are the blossom of 
good sense," and may it not be added, of good 
feeling too ? for if the law of kindness be writ- 
ten in the heart, it will lead to that disinterest- 
edness in little as well as in great things — that 
desire to oblige, and attention to the gratifica- 
tion of others, which is the foundation of good 
manners. If, therefore, we are successful in 
inspiring children with such a disposition, we 
secure the most important means of rendering 
them pleasing. We should endeavour early to 
infuse the spirit of that precept — " Honour all 
men ;" to teach them that kindness and civility 
are due to all ; that a haughty, peremptory, or 



MARINERS AND ORDEPc 117 

contemptuous manner is not only ill-bred, but 
unchristian ; and that this is, especially, to be 
guarded against in their behaviour to servants. 
Nor will young people, generally, be tempted 
to treat with unkindness those, whose services 
claim a return of affection and gratitude, unless 
they are led to it by the example of others. 

It will, also, be necessary to guard children 
against vulgar habits, against roughness of man- 
ner, as weU as coarseness of mind ; as loud 
talking and laughing, the use of violent excla- 
mations and expressions, " shocking ! terrible ! 
monstrous !" he. ; nor should they be allowed 
to continue their infantine language too long : 
the imperfect words and broken sentences of 
an infant, w^ill be unpleasant and appear like 
affectation, when used by elder children ; but 
this habit is often encouraged by the affected 
and babyish tones of voice in which their at- 
tendants frequently address them. It is essen- 
tial to good breeding, that children be taught to 
express themselves well, and to speak distinct- 
ly and grammaticall}^ 

As satire and ridicule are instruments, ill cal- 



118 MANNERS AND ORDER. 

Ciliated to be employed in education ; so any 
tendency to these dispositions in children them- 
selves is to be repressed 5 mimickry, also, 
though highly amusing, ought to be discour- 
aged ; as being likely to induce an unpleasant 
and improper turn of mind. 

Good conduct at meals, is, with children, a 
fair criterion of good manners, and meals may 
be made use of, as favourable opportunities for 
inculcating propriety of behaviour. Children 
should be taught to sit down, and rise up from 
table, at the same time ; to wait, w^hilst others 
are served, without betraying eagerness or im- 
patience ; to avoid noise and conversation, and 
if they are no longer confined to the nursery, 
to be able to see delicacies, without expecting 
or asking to partake of them. To know when 
to be silent is more important to good manners 
than is generally supposed. Speaking, when 
it interrupts reading or conversation, and the 
habit of contradicting others, should be check- 
ed, as also that ill-timed garrulity, so unpleasing 
in some children, and which, generally, springs 
from an undesirable self-confidence and for- 
wardness of character. 



MANNERS AND ORDER. 119 

Nor is the person to be neglected in early 
life ; for it will spare children many awkward 
feelings as they grow up, if they are taught to 
walk and to carry themselves well ; to enter, 
leave a room, and to address others with ease 
and propriety. With many, the acquirement of 
this external polish will prove a very slow 
work, and a subject of considerable difficulty 5 
but if we see an amiable and obedient disposi- 
tion, there is every reason to hope that rough- 
ness of manner will be smoothed down by time 
and the example of others. Parents ought not, 
therefore, to allow themselves, from their own 
irritability and impatience, to render manner, 
as is the case in so many families, the cause of 
daily vexation, and of continual though fruitless 
complaints. We must receive with patience 
and good nature numberless little failures in 
those w^hose happiness it is to think little of the 
effect they produce upon others ; nor is it by 
reproofs and admonitions, showered down up- 
on the child, at the moment in which we wish 
him to display his good manners, that we shall 
effect our purpose ; but by accustoming him to 



120 MANNEFcS AND ORDER. 

exercise habitual kindness and civility towards 
bis companions, and those with whom he lives. 
With all our care, however, we are not to ex- 
pect that the manners of children will be supe- 
rior to those of the persons with whom they 
chiefly associate ; for, in nothing is it more true 
that " we are all a sort of camelions, and, still, 
take a tincture from things around us." On 
this account, as on every other, it is of impor- 
tance that children should witness no vulgar 
habits in the nursery, and that the conversation 
between the nurses themselves should be guard- 
ed and correct. 

But here it must be remarked, that in our 
earnestness to render our children pleasing, and 
to improve their manners, care will be required 
that we do not rob them of their chief charm — 
the simplicity of childhood ; for how greatly 
are to be preferred even an uncouthness of be- 
haviour, and awkward shyness, to any thing of 
premature forwardness, formahty, or affectation. 

" Affectation is but lighting up a candle to 
our defects, and though it has the laudable aim 



ORDER. 121 

^f pleasing, always misses it." * We must also 
avoid working upon vanity to secure good man- 
ners, lest we nurture that love of admiration 
which is apt, but too soon, to take an overbear- 
ing possession of the heart. 



Order.- — The general order of a nurseiy 
will be greatly promoted by early rising, by 
regular hours for all the employments of the 
day, and by an attention to this maxim, 

" A place for every thing, and every thing in its place." 

IMethod and true order are attainments of a 
higher stamp than is generally supposed ; for 
they are not only useful in the lesser concerns 
of life, but necessary to success, in the most 
important objects : it is by these that the pow- 
ers and activity of the mind are turned to good 
account. " Method," as Mrs. H. More says, 
'' is the hinge of business, and there is no 

* Locke. 
11 



122 ORDER. 

method without order and punctuahty."— — - 
" Method is important as it gains time ; it is 
like packing things in a box ; a good packer 
will get in half as much more than a bad one*"* 



Cecil. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION, 123 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 

Religious education has been so ably and 
salisfactorily treated of in several works already 
before the public,* that the Author would be 
unwiUing, even were she competent, to offer a 
full or connected disquisition on the subject. — 
But as she could not entirely omit that which is 
the foundation of all good education, she has 
slightly touched upon some points, which from 
lier own experience she conceives to be of par- 
ticular importance. 

'' The spirit of true rehgion is dilTusive, and 
therefore they that are actuated by it, as they 
wish the happiness of all, so they, labour to set 
them in the right way that leads to it, and more 



'■ Monro's Pious Institution of Youth — Babington's Prac- 
tical View of Christian Education — Doddridge's Sermons ou 
Education ; and the Works of Mrs. Trimmer, and Mrs, H. 
More, on the same subject. 



124 RELIGIOUS INSTRtJCTIOfN. 

especially will they do so, with respect to thos6 
whom the divine Providence has put under their 
rmmedi-ate direction and conduct, whom the Fa- 
tlier of spirits hath committed to their care as 
30 many talents, which he expects they should 
improve for his service and to his glory. Pa- 
pents should remember that their children are 
designed to be citizens of another world, and 
tiierefore that their principal study must be 
how to fit them for the employs of that blessed 
state. The instincts of nature prompt parents 
to do good to their children, but religion exalts' 
those instincts, gives them more noble tenden- 
cies, higher aims, and a diviner bias."* 

It is the deeply-rooted conviction, that in 
bringing up a child, we have to do with an im- 
mortal spirit, — which can alone excite that 
strength of feeling, and depth of interest, essen- 
tial to the performance of our highest duties to- 
wards him. That many well-meaning parents, 
who take it for granted, they are bringing up 



* See Monro's Piou^ iBBtitution of Yontfe- Vol. i. pp. 18. 
19. and. 33, 



RELIGIOUS IN'STRUCTION. 125 

their families religiously, manifest so little ear- 
nestness in the cause : that rehgion is, in fact, 
made so secondary an object, must, in many 
cases, be attributed to the want of strong practi- 
cal faith ; to the want of a real and operative 
behef in the solemn and repeated declarations 
of Scripture, that the present world is but a state 
of probation, and that on the short time spent 
here depends the everlasting condition of every 
individual. Amidst the various cares, engage- 
ments, and pleasures of life, there is great dan- 
ger of neglecting those things which though 
most important are least seen. We are called 
upon to apply ourselves in earnest, and ".whilst 
it is called to day," to the religious improvement 
of our children, as those " whose time is short ;" 
as those who remember that in this case there 
is a double uncertainty, in the lives of their chil- 
dren, and in their own; as those who know that 
the present may be the only opportunity of per- 
forming the high duties required at their hands. 
But enlightened zeal is ever accompanied by 
wisdom and prudence — our efforts will many, 
times be hidden and unseen, for when outward 



126 KELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 

exertion would be ill-timed or injudicious, maj^ 
not a parent promote the best interests of her 
children by that unobserved vigilance, that spi- 
rit of the heart, which we may confidently be-* 
lieve will not fail of its reward ? 

Some parents are deficient in the religious 
eare and instruction of their children, from the 
false notion that as it is divine grace alone 
which can change the heart ; so they have little 
else to do than to sit still, and leave their chil- 
dren to the operation of that grace ; supposing 
that with it all will be well, arid that without it, 
whatever they can do, is to little purpose. 
Others fall into the contrary extreme ; and 
confining their views to human efforts, alone of- 
ten fail by imposing burthensome restraints, and 
rendering religious duties laborious and weari- 
some. But there is a happy medium between 
these opposite errors. The behef that God is 
pleased to work by means y — that he has gra- 
ciously promised to bless the faithful use of 
these means ; — that he has declared " as we soWj 
so also we shall reap ;" — that he has commanded 
ITS '^ to train up a child in the way he should 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION'. 127 

go, and when he is old, he will not depart from 
it ;" — this belief will stimulate to a diligence, a 
constancy and a fervency of spirit in the reli- 
gious education of our children. At the same 
time, the sense of our own insufficiency — the 
conviction, that although we may plant and wa- 
ter, it is God alone who can give the increase, 
will combine that moderation with our earnest- 
ness and activity ; that calmness and quietness 
with our zeal ; without which, they will often 
prove ineffectual, and should lead us to implore 
the divine aid and blessing so graciously prom- 
ised to those who ask. 

It is not to be forgotten, that as religion is the 
most important, so also it is the most sacred of 
all subjects ; and that although, from its impor- 
tance, it is ever to be kept in view ; yet, from 
its sacred character, it must not be made too 
common or familiar. 

" True religion," (a late valuable writer re- 
marks) " may be compared to a plum on the 
tree, cov^ered with its bloom ; men gather the 
plum, and handle it, and turn and twist it about. 



128 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 

till it is deprived of all its native bloom and 
beauty." We are in danger of doing this, if we 
impart religious instruction as a task, either to 
ourselves or our pupils : if we attempt to teach 
the sacred truths of Christianity, whilst we have 
little sense of their beauty or of the savour that 
attends them ; if we are in the habit of bringing 
forward religion without a corresponding feel- 
ing and reverence ; if we can talk of it with the 
lips whilst the heart is little alive to the subject ; 
and if we imperceptibly adopt a religious tone, 
because it prevails amongst those about us. By 
this mode of proceeding, we may encourage in 
those under our influence an outward profes- 
sion of what is good ; but we are not likely to 
foster that substantial and practical principle, 
which is the life of religion. 

It is a very mistaken idea, and not the result 
of experience, that regular connected teaching 
is unnecessary on religious subjects. We have 
the divine command, "thou shalt teach them 
diligently." It is therefore our absolute duty to 
obey, and to enlighten the understandings of 



RELIGI0U3 INSTRUCTION, 129 

<$ur children in religious truth, in proportion as 
they are able to receive it. But we are to en- 
ter upon this work, not as we would undertake 
the dry routine of a common lesson, but as a 
business in which we peculiarly need that " wis- 
dom which Cometh from above;" as a bus- 
iness that has to do v/ith the heart more than the 
head ; in which our chief endeavour should be 
to engage the inclination and affections of our 
pupils ; a business of incalculable importance as 
regarding the most momentous interests of those 
to whom we are bound by the tenderest ties. In 
the study of the Scriptures, it is not enough to 
read them as a letter ; it should be our desire to 
imbibe ourselves, and to infuse by sympathy in- 
to the hearts of our children, a measure of that 
spirit which breathes throughout them. We 
would not, for example, give them the particu- 
lars of the life and death of the Lord Jesus, 
merely to be accurately learnt and remembered 
as any other subject of historical information ; 
but it ought to be an object so to communicate 
this most interesting of all narratives, as to ex- 
cite in their hearts a love and gratitude towards 



130 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 

him, as their divine and compassionate Re- 
deemer. 

Ahhough we would not lessen the value of 
other means of instruction, it is evident that the 
most important and purest source of religious 
knowledge is the simple, unprejudiced study of 
the Bible. If we take the Scriptures in their 
regular order, omitting only those parts which 
are above the comprehension of children, they 
will supply " that which is able to make them 
wise unto salvation :" every christian doctrine, 
every important precept, will be presented in 
succession, and will afford the most favourable 
opportunity for useful observations and individ- 
ual apphcation : and these will be most likely 
to prove beneficial when they spring naturally 
from the subject before us, and from the lively 
feehng which it excites. Fenelon advises that 
we should not only tell children that the Bible 
is interesting and delightful, but make them feel 
that it is so. We should endeavour to make 
them feel the deep interest of the narratives it 
contains, and the exquisite beauties with which 
ft abounds. This cannot be accomphshed if 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 131 

they read it as a task ; an historical acquain- 
tance with Scripture is, indeed, very desirable ; 
but it is from a taste for, and an interest in the 
sacred writings, that the most important benefits 
are to be derived. 

As children are little capable of receiving ab- 
stract ideas, it is probable that they will not de- 
rive much benefit from being instructed in doc- 
trines separate from facts — by facts we may 
convey a strong and simple view of the most 
important truths of Christianity. If, for exam- 
ple, we can represent in lively colours to their 
imaginations, the beautiful history of our Lord 
calming the storm when " the waves beat into 
the ship," and his voice was " mightier than 
the noise of many waters," they will imbibe a^^X 
stronger and more practical sense of his power, 
than could have been imparted to them by 
any bare statement of it. We shall also best 
be able to impress upon their minds his in- 
finite compassion towards us by reading or 
relating to them, so r.s to realise the trans- 
actions, and interest the feelings, such narra- 
tives as those of our Lord's takino; the infants 



132 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 

in his arms, and blessing them ; of his raising 
the widow's son, of his healing the lunatic 
child, and lastly, of his suffering and dying for 
cur sakes, that we might be made the heirs of 
eternal life. 

It is of great importance that all religious in- 
struction be given to children with reference to 
practice. If they are taught that God is their 
Creator and Preserver, it is that we may obey, 
love and adore Him ; if, that Christ is their 
Saviour, it is that they m.ay love him, give them- 
selves up to him, and trust in the conditions he has 
prescribed for forgiveness and salvation. If, that 
the Holy Spirit is promised for their direction, 
it is that they should beware of grieving that se- 
cret guide, w hich will lead them out of evil, will 
enable them to bring forth the fruits of righ- 
teousness, and prepare them for a state of bless- 
edness hereafter. The omnipresence of God 
should, also, be strongly and practically im- 
pressed upon the mind in early life, not only as 
a truth peculiarly calculated to influence the con- 
duct, but, as a continual source of consolation 
and support in trouble and danger. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. lo3 

it Is to be remembered, that religious instruc- 
tion is not to be forced upon children ; wisdom 
is required in eommunicating it to them, that 
Ave may give them " food convenient" for them, 
nourishing them, not with strong meat, but with 
" the sincere milk of the Word, that they may 
•grow thereby"; making the best use of the natu- 
ral and gradual opening of their understandings : 
and we may acknowledge, with thankfulness, 
that there is something in the human mind which 
answ^ers to the most simple and sacred truths; 
the mind of man seems formed to receive the 
idea of Him who gave it being. A premature 
accuracy of religious knowledge is not to be de- 
sired with children : but that the views of divine 
truth which they receive, should be sound and 
scriptural, and so communicated as to touch 
the conscience. If the conscience be touched, 
if the fear of God be excited, a fear to offend 
hira ; a dread of sin ; there is something to 
work upon, and a foundation is laid for advance- 
ment in religion, as the character ripens. Bui 
we are not to forget the general balance of 
Scripture, or to give force to one part by over>» 
1% 



134 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 

looking another. Thus, in our endeavours fo 
touch the conscience, and to excite a dread of 
sin, we must also be careful to represent our 
Creator as the God of love, the God of peace, 
the Father of mercies, — to direct the attention 
of our children to that " Lamb of God, which 
taketh avv^ay the sin of the world ;" that the re- 
sult of our labours may, with the divine bless- 
ing, be an union of fear and love in the hearts 
of our pupils : that tenderness of conscience 
should not lead to the spirit of bondage ; nor 
fear degenerate into religious terror, and, con- 
sequently, superstition. 

In the minds of many people, from the want 
of this early judicious care, religion and super- 
stition, quite unknown to themselves, have be- 
come strangely interwoven. They surrender 
themselves to superstitious or enthusiastic im- 
pressions, because they do not distinguish them 
from the voice of truth, and feelings of piety ; 
but enhghtened religion is, in fact, in direct op- 
position to superstition : they are as different as 
light from darkness ; for superstition quits the 
•solid 2;round of revealed truth, and forms concep- 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTIt)N. 12^ 

lions for itself, of what the will of God may be 
towards his creatures. But it should be our ob- 
ject to give to children a scriptural, and there- 
fore a reasonable and healthful view of religion; 
to guard them against all that is erroneous and 
morbid, and to prepare them for the reception 
of " the spirit of power, of love, and of a sound 
mind." 

The curiosity so natural to children is not to 
be hastily repressed, on religious subjects ; — we 
are rather to direct than reprove it, remember- 
ing that, within due bounds, the exercise of the 
natural powers may be made subservient to the 
most important ends in acquiring religious know- 
ledge. At the same time, any tendency to a 
critical, cavilling disposition, is to be uniformly 
discouraged ; nor is it of small importance, that, 
children should be guarded against the influ- 
ence of those from whom they may imbibe such 
a habit of mind. As their understandings im- 
prove, they may be led to consider the infinite 
distance between God and man, — that " He is 
the high and lofty one that inhabiteth eternity," 
whilst man is like " a shadow that declineth,'* 
^r as the grass of the field, which *• in the morn- 



136 HELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 

ing flouiishetli and groweth up, but in the evd^ 
ning is cut down and withereth," that we see 
only the smallest part ol the works of God ; 
and of that small part much is to us incompre- 
hensible ; — but that, great as he is, his love ex- 
tends to the meanest of his creatures j that, fop 
man he has provided eternal happiness ; and 
that, in the Scriptures, he has been pleased to 
reveal all that is necessary for us to know and 
believe, in order to attain it. That we are, 
therefore, to approach these treasuries of heav- 
enly knowledge, with no expectation of finding 
every difficulty solved, or all made clear to ouf 
weak and narrow understandings ; but, with a 
humble and teachable disposition, for spiritual 
food, and for spiritual hfe : knowing that " the 
secret things belong unto the Lord our God ; 
but those things which are revealed belong un- 
to us and to our children for ever, that we may 
do" them. If we attempt to explain the deep 
mysteries of religion further than the Scripture 
has explained them, we shall be more hkely to 
degrade what is most sacred, and perplex the 
mind, than to enlighten the tmderstanding, or 
Q'levate tlie- affGctiQiis.. 



RELIGIOUS HABITS. 137 

RELIGIOUS HABITS. 

Beside the religious instruction of children, 
we have also to attend to the formation of reli- 
gious habits. If these be well estabhshed in 
early hfe, even though the heart be not always 
engaged in them as it ought to be, yet some- 
thing is gained. Such habits frequently be- 
come the channels through which spiritual good 
is conveyed — besides, whenever the vital princi- 
ple of religion begins to operate, they render 
the path of duty less difficuh. 

Amongst the most important religious habits 
may be ranked the daily exercises of devotion ; 
a fixed time and plan for reading the Scriptures ; 
a regular attendance, and serious behaviour, at 
a place of worship ; and a practical regard to 
the Sabbath. 

Devotional Exercises. In bringing up 

children to regular and stated devotional exer- 
cises, it will also be necessary to instruct them 
12* 



138 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 

in the true nature of prayer ; and this may bes[ 
be dene by examples. We may remind them, 
that the woman of Canaan prayed, when, though 
often rejected, she still called upon her Saviour,, 
**Lord help me ;" — that the disciples prayed, 
when, in the midst of the tempest, they cried, 
" Lord save us, we perish ;" (Matt, viii.) — that- 
the publican prayed, when he smote upon his 
breast, saying, " God be merciful to me a sin- 
ner ;" — that the blind man prayed, v.hen, net- 
withstanding many discouragements, he still re- 
peated, " Thou son of David, have mercy up* 
on me ;" — and that these are all instances of 
that fervent and humble prayer of the heart, 
tvhich " avail eth much." ^' 

Children may be asked, if they were hungry 
or athirstj distressed or in danger, in what man- 
ner they would call upon their earthly parents 
for relief and deliverance ; and reminded, that 
it is with the like-earnestness they should be- 
seech their heavenly Father to pardon their 



* See an excellent paper on prajer, printed bv Forbes; 
Brighton. Eng. 



RELIGIOUS HABITS. 139 

Siris, to strengthen their weakness, " to deliver 
them from evil," and to grant them "his favour, 
which is better than hfe." Their attention 
should be directed to the powerful and tender 
affections of their earthly parents towards them, 
that, from this consideration, they may be the 
better able to comprehend the love of God, a§ 
being infinitely greater, more tender and un- 
changeable. They may be taught, that as God 
heareth the ravens cry, and satisfieth the wants 
of every living thing, much more is he ever at- 
lentive to the feeblest desire, or tlie least sigh, 
raised in the hearts of his children towards him : 
that it is the prayer of the heart alone which is 
acceptable in his sight, although a form of sound 
words is valuable, as an assistance in raising the 
affections and confinins; the wandering; thou2;hts. 
But children are too often suffered to repeat 
I heir prayers with as little reflection, and almost 
as little reverence, as they manifest in the com- 
mon engagements of the day. We should en- 
deavour to bring them into a serious and tran- 
quil state of mind before they kneel dowTi. 
Tliey mav then be reminded of their faults with 



140 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 

good effect ; and thus gradually accustomed td 
unite self-examination with the duties of devo- 
tion ; examination, not only of their outward 
conduct, but of their motives ; a habit essential 
to real religious advancement! 

The morning and evening afford the best op- 
portunities for devotional exercises ; and it 
should be our earnest desire to accustom our 
children to begin and close the day widi Him in 
whom they "live, and move, and have their be- 
ing ;" to accustom them " to seek first the king- 
dom of God ;" to make it their first business, on 
waking, to give thanks for the mercies which 
are '^new every morning," and to seek for daily 
strength, support and protection : that, thus, 
when they arise, "they may still be with him ;" 
that he may 

" Guard their first springs of thought and will, 
" And with himself their spirits fill." 

In the evening, when they have prayed for 
pardon and peace, let us endeavour to infuse the 
spirit of that beautiful expression in the Psalms, 
'^J will both lay me down in peace and sleep, for 



RELIGIOUS HABItS. 141 

it is lliou, Lord, only, makest me dwell In safety.*' 
At no time is the influence of a moilier more valu- 
able than when her children are retiring to rest. 
It is then, that having ceased from the business 
and the pleasures of the day, their minds are 
quieted, their feelings more tender, and more 
fitted for the reception of religions impressions. 
Happy is it if the spirit of her own heart be 
such as to enable her to make full use of these 
favoured moments ; to make use of them as 
valuable opportunities for withdrawing the hearts 
of her children " from things which are tempo- 
ral," and of fixing deeper and more hvely im- 
pressions of those " which are eternal." In 
the absence of a mother, on these occasions, it 
is the duty of an assistant, as far as possible, to 
supply her place. When a child has repeated 
his evening prayers, she should not allow him 
to return to trifling conversation or common pur- 
suits, but take him quietly to bed, and she will 
find it beneficial and gratifying to him then, to 
read a psalm or hymn, as the last thing before 
slie leaves him. 



142 RELIGIOUS HABITS, 

The prayers of children should be simple, 
and suitable to their understandings and state 
of mind ; we must not, however, expect that 
they will always enter into them with the feel- 
ing we may desire. Yet, as we are to perse-- 
vere, through all discouragements, in the per- 
formance of this sacred duty ourselves, must 
we not also train up our children to it, notwith- 
standing their great infirmities, in simple obedi- 
ence to the express commands of God ; in hum- 
ble rehance on his blessed promises ; and with 
full confidence in Him who is not an ^'high priest, 
that cannot be touched w^th the feeling of our 
infirmities, but who ever liveth to make inter- 
cession for us" ? and might we not hope, that 
the prayers of our children would be less defec- 
tive, were the spirits of those about them more 
serious and more devotional ? 

A love for the sublime and beautiful works 
of nature should be early cultivated, not merely 
as affording a source of pure enjoyment, but as 
a taste, which, if properly directed, may pro- 
mote a devotional spirit, and elevate the miad, 



RELIGIOUS HABITS. 143 

by raising the views through " things which are 
seen," to Him who is invisible. 

*' Happy, who walks with him ! whom what he finds, 
Of flavour, or of scent, in fruit or flower ; 
Or what he views of beautiful or grand 
In nature, from the broad majestic oak 
To rhe ^reen blade, that twinkles in the sun ; 
Prompts with remembrance of a present God ! 
His presence, who made all so fair, perceived. 
Makes all still fairer." 

Grace before meat. — Children should be 
taught to receive their daily bread as from the 
hand of God, and that excellent custom of ?race 
before and after meat, ought, surely, to be kept 
up in the nursery, as an open acknowledgment 
of gratitude to the Giver of all good. 

Daily study of the Scriptures. — It will 
be of advantage if the daily portion of scriptu- 
ral instruction can be given to children as the 
first employment, after their morning prayers ; 
and it is much to be desired that parents should 
retain this part of education in their own hands ; 
for the situation of a parent gives advantages for 



144 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 

the performance of this duty, which are rarely 
possessed, in an equal degree, by a tutor or 
governess. Perhaps, the earliest scriptural les^ 
sons are best given in conversation, assisted by 
prints.* By this simple method, even very 
young children, before they can read, are ca- 
pable of understanding, and of profiting by, 
many parts of sacred history. A reference to 
Wallis's map of Canaan, with httle figures, and, 
when children are old enough, to Burder's Ori- 
ental Customs, or Calmet's Dictionary, will add 
to the interest of the historical parts of the Bi- 
ble, and will contribute to render the Scripture 
lesson amusing as well as instructive. 

The Saebath. — As the common business 



* It is related in the life of Dr. Doddridge, prefixed to his 
Works, that " his parents brought him up in the early know- 
ledge of religion. Before he could read, his id other taught 
him the history of the Old and New Testament, by the a«eist- 
ance of some Dutch tiles in the chimney of the room where 
they uj^uflllv sat ; and accompanied her instruc'ions v i^h '^nch 
wise and pious reflections, as made strong and lasting impres- 
sions upon his heart."- 



RELIGIOUS HABITS. 145 

of life is to be laid aside on the Sunday, so the 
engagements of this day should be wholly of a 
different character from those of the week ; and 
if a practical regard to the Sabbath be early es- 
tabhshed, and its employments, which may so 
easily be done, are rendered attractive and in- 
teresting, children will enter upon them from 
choice, and neither expect, nor wish for any 
others. 

The study of the Scriptures may be agreea- 
ably diversified, either by looking out, with the 
assistance of marginal references and a concor- 
dance, the various texts on one particular sub- 
ject, as, on prayer — almsgiving — duty to parents, 
&c. ; or by tracing the chain of prophecy re- 
lating to the Messiah, with corresponding passa- 
ges in the New Testament ; by studying the 
types which beautifully illustrate his character 
and offices — as the paschal lamb — the brazen 
serpent — the scape goat, iSic. or by reading, with 
a particular reference to the lives and charac- 
ters of eminent individuals — as of Abraham, Jo- 
seph, Moses, David, Sic. The Liturgy, as w^ell 
as the Catechism, will also afford an excellent 
13 



146 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 

groimd-vvork for scriptural research ; and there 
is no doubt but that the services of the Church 
inigh.t be rendered more beneficial to children, 
if previously explained to them, and illustrated 
by those passages in the Bible from which they 
are derived. Nor is it necessary that children 
be confined, on the Sunday, to studying the 
Scriptures, Catechisms, &lc. ; — there are ma^ 
ny books suitable to the day, which will afford 
an agreeable and useful variety, and which, if 
laid aside in the w^eek, will be read with the 
greater pleasure. Hymns, or a portion of 
Scripture,'^ may also be committed to me- 
mory ; but care will be required that these 
be neither learnt as a common task, nor 
repeated in a hasty or irreverent manner. 
When children write with some facility, 
they W'ill derive pleasure from copying out 
liymns ; select passages from the Bible ; or 
ihe texts they have looked for, on particular 
subjects, in a book, kept for the purpose. — 

* See Mr. Babington's excellent remarks on this subject : 
Practical Essay, page 94, &c. 



RELIGIOUS HABITS. 147 

They may, besides, be formed into a class, and 
questioned, on Sunday, in their Scriptural know- 
ledge ; and it will add to the interest, if the 
children of more than one family can be united 
in this exercise. 

When old enough, they may be permitted to 
share in the labours of a Sunday school, or 
make choice of a poor child as a private scholar. 
Such objects are valuable, as affording suitable 
occupation for the Sunday ; but still more so, 
as having the tendency to foster a spirit of ac- 
tive benevolence ; and a disposition to promote 
the interests of others. 

The engagements to which we have referred, 
with an attendance on public worship, and ne- 
cessary recreation and exercise, will fill up the 
Sunday usefully and agreeably. If we enter 
into the full meaning of these expressions — 
*' shall call the Sabbath a delight, the holy of 
the Lord, honourable,"^ we shall be persuad- 
ed, that it is not sufficient to enforce a strict re- 



Isaiah, Iviii. 13, 



148 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 

gard to the Sabbath as a law ; but that we 
should also endeavour to infuse a love for the 
day, as one of peculiar privileges ; and parents 
may promote this feeling, by keeping in view 
that it is to be a time of rest, as well as of 
religious duty, by devoting themselves more 
than ordinarily to their children ; and by ren- 
dering the Sunday the season for the best kind 
of domestic enjoyment. 

Public Worship. — Silence, self-subjection, 
and a serious deportment, both in * family and 
pubHc worship, ought to be strictly enforced in 
early life ; and it is better that children should 



* It may not be irrelevant to the subject before us to ob- 
serve, not only the value of family worship for the sake of 
our children, but also the importance of conducting it so as 
to render it to them a profitable and attractive service. " Let 
them find it short, savoury, simple, plain, tender, heavenly. 
Worship thus conducted is an engine of vast power in a fami- 
ly. Family religion is of unspeakable importance ; the 
spirit and tone of your house, the bye conversations in your 
family, wnll have great influence on your children." — CeciVs 
Remains 



RELIGIOUS HABITS. 149 

not attend, till they are capable-of behaving in a 
proper manner. But a practical respect for 
the Sabbath, and for the services of rehgion, is 
but an effect of that reverence for evei-y thing 
sacred, which, it is of primary importance early 
to establish, as a habit of mind. No subject 
connected with religion ought to be treated 
lightly in the presence of children. If, for ex- 
ample, we think that we may employ the words 
of Scripture in a jocose or trifling manner, that 
we may make slighting remarks on the sermon 
of the day ; that we may ridicule the voice and 
manner of the preacher ; that we may speak 
contemptuously of others, because their reli- 
gious principles or habits differ from our own, 
without injury to ourselves ; at least we are in 
danger of leading our children to view religion 
through a critical and satirical medium ; and 
thus to throw in their way one of the greatest 
hindrances to rehgious advancement. To take 
the name of God in vain, (as, by using it in 
common conversation, or on every emotion of 
fear and surprise,) is an offence so glaring, that 
a warning against it might be unnecessary, were 
13^ 



150 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 

it not that some, even well-meaning people, al- 
most unknown to themselves, are apt to fall in- 
to it, from the effect of example, and early 
habit. Such an use of the Divine name, is not 
only to be most seriously prohibited ; but those 
exclamations, which, in fact, convey nearly the 
same meaning ; as, Mercy ! Bless me ! Good 
Heavens ! Good gracious ! he. 

Firmness, and, sometimes, resolution and au- 
thority, may be required in the first estabhsh- 
ment of rehgious habits; and, as far as it is ne- 
cessary, they should be exercised ; but never 
in such a manner as to render the most sacred 
duties a galling and burthensome yoke. An 
excess of strictness is injurious in the general 
management of children ; but is especially to be 
avoided in their religious education. If, in that, 
we drav/ the line too tight, we may not only ex- 
cite a distaste for what is good ; but induce con- 
cealment and hypocrisy. In religion, more 
than in any other object, it is of the first impor- 
tance to gain over the affections ; to draw the 
hearts of our children by the cords of love ; that 



RELIGIOUS HABITS. 151 

they may know, and feel for ihemselves, that 
" her ways are ways of pleasantness ;" and that 
" all her paths are peace :" — 

" JSTor know we any thing so fair. 
As is the smile upon her face." * 

Care must be taken not to press too closehj 
upon children such non-essential points as form 
the distinguishing peculiarities of the various 
sects of Christians. It is a question worthy of 
much serious consideration, whether such. points 
are of a nature to be imposed as a law upon 
those who are placed under our authority ; and 
whether, in doing this, there may not be a dan- 
ger of " teaching for doctrines the command- 
ments of men," and of fettering the conscience, 
by false associations of right and wrong ^ We 
are more likely to prepare our children for the 
reception of truth, if secondary distinctions are 
not brought into prominent view, and if our ef- 
forts are directed to the great object of leading 



* Wordsvrorth's Ode to Duty. 



152 PtELlGIOUS HABITS. 

them to that knowledge of God, and of his son 
Jesus Christ, which alone is life eternal.* 

If children live under a religious influence, 
some vigilance will be required, lest they should 
assume a seriousness which is not real. Eve- 
ry tiling unnatural, every thing bordering on 
hypocrisy, is to be most carefully checked ; 
and that divine test deeply impressed on their 
hearts, as on our own ; " if ye love me, keep 
my commandments." We must not, therefore, 
force either the feelings or expression ; satisfied 
that, if the true principles of Christianity have 
taken possession of the heart, it wull, necessari- 
ly, manifest itself in something better than in 
words or profession. 

Children must, besides, be guarded against 
placing too much dependence upon external 
observances. We are to bring them up with a 
reverence and a value for the ordinances of re- 
hgion ; and to accustom them to a diligent and 
persevering attendance upon them, as a sacred 



* John xvii. 3. 



RELIGIOUS HABITS. 153 

and important duty, to wliicb secondary objects 
oui^ht always to yield. But, at the same time, 
they will be able to understand that these ordi- 
nances, of themselves, are wholly insufficient ; 
that he is a Christian " who is one inwardly ;" 
and that our real character is determined, not by 
that which we may appear before men, but by 
that which we are in his sight, who " looketb 
on the heart." 



154 CONCLUSION, 



CONCLUSION. 

In concluding this little Work, the Author 
Would, once again, remind all who are engaged 
in the care of children, that much patience and 
much perseverance will be required in the fulfil- 
ment of their duties towards them ; and that 
they may hope to succeed, " not so much by 
the vehemence, as by the constancy of their ex- 
ertions." We must not expect to witness the 
immediate fruit of our labour. The husband- 
man scatters his seed, " and hath long patience 
for it ;" and we are commanded, " in the morn- 
ing to sow the seed ; and in the evening to with- 
hold not our hands, for we know not whether 
shall prosper.""^ To those who are conscien- 
tiously employed in the business of education, 
there is the most solid ground for encourage- 
ment ; and it is of no small importance that 



Eccles. xi. 6. 



CONCLUSION. 155 

llicy should cherish a hopeful and cheerful tem- 
per of mind. This will not only increase the 
vigour of their efforts, but greatly add to the 
probability of success. 

Let us ever bear in mind the extensive bencr 
fit which may resuh from our bringing one child 
to ciioose and " hold fast that which is good." 
Have we not reason to hope that it will be a 
blessing, not only to himself, but to his children, 
and his children's children ? Does not the re- 
sult of universal experience, do not the records 
of history and biography, in addition to the ex- 
press commands of Scripture, afford abundant 
encouragement for females diligently to exer- 
cise their powers in the education of children — 
powers which appear peculiarly given to fit 
them for the performance of this important du- 
ty ? How many eminent, how many excellent 
men have attributed their most valuable attain- 
ments to the impressions made en tlieir minds, 
by the early care of female relatives, and more 
especially by that of Mothers ! * 



* Amongst the numerous instances which might be brought 
forward to illustrate the powerful influence of Mothers, and 



156 CONCLUSION. 

A Mother, providentially possesses advanta- 
ges for obtaining over lier children an influence, 
Avhich may be as powerful and durable, as it is 
mild and attractive ; an influence, which may 
prove to them a guide and defence through the 
temptations and difficulties of life, when she her- 
self, has escaped from thenvall ; and which, if 
it do not fully accomplish the good she desires, 
will yet " hang on the wheels of evil." It may 
confidentially be believed, though she may have 
to wait " many days," that her conscientious en- 
deavours will return in blessings upon herself, and 
upon her children ; and that the fruits, whether 
earlier or later, will abundantly prove, " that 
her labour has not been in vain in the Lord." 



the strength of early impressions, the reader is referred 1o the 
life of St. Augustine, in Milner's Church History.— In Word- 
worth's Ecclesiastical Biography, to the lives of Bishop Hail, 
Hooker, Herbert, and Philip Henry. Aho, to Lord Teign- 
mouth's Life of Sir W. Jones ; to the Life of the Reverend 
•Tohn Newton, written by himself ; and to that of the Rever- 
end R. Cecil, prefixed to his V^'orks; nor should we forget 
the example of Timothy, who, " from a child, had known the 
the Holy Scriptures," inheriting " that unfeigned faith which 
had dwelt first in his grandmother Lois and his mother 
Eunice." 



APPENDIX. 



MOTIVES THAT SHOULD INFLUENCE 
THE CONDUCT OF A NURSE. 

We are taught in the Scriptures (Coloss. iii. 
23) that " whatever we do, we are to do it 
heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men ;" 
that " the eyes of the Lord are in every place, 
beholding the evil and the good," (Prov. xv. 3) 
and that " he will bring every work into judg- 
ment, with every secret thing, whether it be 
good, or whether it be evil ;" (Eccles. xii. 14). 

A real faith in these fundamental truths, a 
practical sense of the immediate presence of 
God, and of the unspeakable importance of our 
duty to him, alone can fit us to adorn the sta- 
tion in which we are placed, or enable us to 
render, at the last, a good account of our stew- 
ardship. Every other motive is variable, and 
comparatively weak ; whether it be the desire of 
14 



15S APPENDIX. 

reputation and esteem, a sense of self-interest, 
or the dictates of natural affection. These may 
render us respectable in our outward conduct ; 
they may produce some temporary good effects ; 
but the foundation is wanting : the root is de- 
fective, and so will be the fruit. Religion alone 
can supply a principle unchanging and unceas- 
ing ; a principle, which, depending not on the 
approbation of man, influences as powerfully in 
his absence as in his presence : a principle that 
enables us still to go forward in the race set be- 
fore us ; " not weary in well-doing," but, for 
duty's sake, bearing trials and discouragements; 
surmounting difficulties, and overcoming temp- 
tations. When treating of the obligations be- 
longing to any station, it is to this principle they 
must be referred ; and, in bringing forward the 
particular duties of a nurse, this it is which 
should be strongly enforced, as the original 
source whence they must spring, and without 
which, a nurse will do very little, permanently, 
for the best interests either of children or of 
parents. The standard of Scripture concern- 
ing the duties of servants (as expressed in Eph. 



APPENDIX. 



159 



vi. 5, &LC.— Colos. iii. 22, Sic— 1 Peter, ii. 18, 
&ic.) must be her rule of conduct. 

In undertaking the charge of a nursery, al- 
though such a situation affords pecuHar privile- 
ges, and peculiar satisfaction ; she will meet 
with difficulties in the discharge of her duty ; — 
much to exercise her patience ; — many an anx- 
ious hour ; — many broken nights, and weari- 
some days. And will she not continually ex- 
perience the need of a higher motiv^e than mevo 
natural affection, or regard to worldly interest, 
to enable her to act with unvarying integrity to- 
wards the parents, and with an uniformly right 
disposition towards the children, — such a dispo- 
sition as will lead to a constant forbearance 
-^vith them under their httle changes of temper 
and behavioiu" ; and, on all occasions, in sick- 
ness or health, by day or by night, to the con- 
sideration of their real interest, rather than of 
any self-gratification ? 

Dihgent attention to the bodily safety and 
health of children, is a duty of no small impor- 
tance. In this, a well principled nurse will con- 
sider herself peculiarly responsible, and will feel- 



ICO APPENDIX. 

that she cannot be too watchful or assiduous : 
but she will, at the same time, raise her views 
still higher ; bearing in mind, that she is also 
required, in dependence on the Divine aid, to 
do all that is placed in her power, to assist in 
training up those under her care for everlasting 
happiness. She will best promote so invalua- 
ble an object by keeping her own heart with all 
diligence, by her example more than by pre- 
cept and advice ; for " children better under- 
stand Vv'hat they see and feel, than the rules and 
reproofs Avhich they hear." In this view of the 
subject, how highly important is the office of a 
nurse ! Little aware of it, perhaps, herself, 
she is continually acting upon " the first springs 
of character ;" her children are hourly imbib- 
ing the spirit that pervades her own mind. 
Much, therefore, necessarily depends upon her, 
but should this render her high-minded or self- 
important ^ Has she not cause rather to suspect 
lierself and to fear always ? Knowing that in 
proportion as her means of usefulness are great; 
so also is her reponsibility — so will be her cri- 
minalitv, if slie nealect or abuse the talents com- 



APPENDIX. 161 

mitted to her ; and should not this considera- 
tion produce a desire to be instructed herself, 
and a humble deportment toward her superiors? 
Many valuable nurses are, in this point, emi- 
nently deficient ; and their good qualities tar- 
nished by a self-importance, and adherence to 
their own opinions, manifested even towards the 
Mother and her friends. Such a temper of 
mind, by inspiring the servant with undue confi- 
dence in her own judgment, independent of that 
of her mistress, is very unfavourable to the fixed 
determination which should actuate every nurse ; 
to execute, as far as possible, the Vvill of a Mother 
towards her children, when out of her sight; and 
to be exactly the same to them in her absence as in 
her presence. This is a law of primary and es- 
sential importance ; a directing principle for 
the management of a nursery. If a nurse, on 
the unexpected appearance of her mistress, ex- 
perience a secret awkwardness — if slie involun- 
tarily change her manner or tone of voice — let 
her carefully examine if all is quite right, and 
set a stricter watch upon herself; let her in- 
quire if she may not be blindly adopting wrong 
14" 



162 



APPENDIX. 



habits, because they are the common practice, 
and regulating her own conduct by the low 
standard of others. 

*' It is required in stewards that a man be 
found faithful." True fidehty regards not on- 
ly the property of employers, but the time, the 
care, which are due to them ; and such are the 
duties of a nurse, that they will not be faithful- 
ly performed, unless her heart be interested in 
their discharge. A servant who considers them 
a task, from which she is ever glad to be freed, 
in order to pursue other objects, is wholly unfit 
for her station. A conscientious nurse, there- 
fore, will be cautious lest her own interests, 
pleasures, or even her sorrow^s, should so ab- 
sorb the mind as to interfere with the perform- 
ance of positive duties towards those committed 
to her care. Their welfare will be ever kept 
in view. She will be always unwilling to leave 
them, for any concern of her own, without the 
express consent of her mistress ; and will never 
quit the nursery, if her mistress be out, for oc- 
casions on which this w^ould not be allowed. 
Iiad she been at home. Such a nurse is not a 



APPENDIX. 163 

lover of pleasure, but sober-inindcd, careful and 
discreet. In lier walks with the children, she 
will never carry them to any place or house 
which she is not sure would be approved by her 
mistress ; she will avoid uniting with other ser- 
vants and children ; and, at all times, will be 
cautious of entering into conversation with stran- 
gers ; she will admit no visitors into the nurse- 
ry, wliom she would not wish her mistress to 
see there. Whhout her advice, she will be re- 
luctant to give any medicine to the children, 
except in cases of absolute necessity ; and 
would be shocked at the idea of administering 
a quieting draught, for the sake of her own 
ease (an offence, which, it is painful to ac- 
knowledge, has been too often committed) at 
the hazard of a dear child's safety ! Nor will 
she attempt to soothe his fretfulness by bestow- 
ing upon him sweets or other indulgencies, which 
might be injurious to his health. If her nights 
are disturbed by his restlessness, she will be- 
tray no temper or discontent tow^ards her mis- 
tress, or yield to the least impatience towards 
the child. She will consider it her absolute 



164 APPENDIX. 

duty to be equally diligent and affectionate in 
her attentions to him, however painful may be 
the effort of rousing herself when w^eary, and in 
want of rest. It is melancholy to consider how 
many young children have fallen a sacrifice to 
the drowsiness and carelessness of their attend- 
ants ; and, perhaps, no part of the business of 
a nurse calls for a greater exercise of good 
principle and self-denial, of tenderness and vigi- 
lance, than the care of a httle infant by night. 

The preceding examples are brought for- 
ward as instances of religious integrity ; the 
necessary result of those principles which have 
before been stated as the foundation of all our 
relative duties. 

Many nurses acting thus, are ornaments to so- 
ciety, and treasures to their employers; but that 
a number are influenced by motives far inferior, 
we have too much proof, not only in our nurse- 
ries, but also in the streets and public walks. 
Do not the showy dress ; the flippant, vain, and 
flirting air ; the manner evidently designed to at- 
tract notice ; the attention occupied with self; 
the difference of demeanour in the presence and 



APPENDIX. 165 

absence of the mother ; the rough handling, and 
hasty words dispensed to their httle ones upon 
every shgiit oiTence : does not such a deport- 
ment bespeak a mind unprepared for the impor- 
tant duties of a nurse, and looking little higher 
than to self-intesest or pecuniary recompence ? 
It is not intended to imply, that such servants 
are devoid of natural affection to the objects of 
their care, or that they would not be shocked at 
the idea of doing them an injury ; but that nat- 
ural affection alone will be found wholly insuffi- 
cient ; and, when undirected by principle and 
judgment, will not exempt, even the fondest 
nurse, from that selfishness, thoughtlessness, 
and ill-temper, so highly injurious to children. 
The mere impulse of nature will never produce 
a character essentially valuable and useful. — 
This must be the result of religion, of self- 
denial, diligence and patience. Can any stim- 
ulus to such conscientious efforts, in the faith- 
ful discharge of our duties to children, be 
greater, than to observe, on every hand, indi- 
viduals suffering through hfe, either in mind or 
body, from the want of judgment, the defec- 



166 APPENDIX, 

live principle, or the carelessness of those wh© 
have brought them up ? Such examples suffi- 
ciently prove, that the well-being and happi- 
ness of children are permitted to be, in a great 
measure, dependent upon the conduct of those 
under whose care they are placed. Shall we 
not, therefore, be called to account for the use 
we have made of the power which is thus given 
us over others f And do we not need, to di- 
rect us in the exercise of it, that wisdom from 
above, which is first " pure, then peaceable, 
gende, and easy to be entreated ; full of mer- 
cy and good fruits, without partiality, and with- 
out hypocrisy ?" Should w^e not also find it 
highly beneficial, to keep In view, as a guide to 
our ignorance, the manner in which we our- 
selves are dealt with by our heav^enly Father ? 
to bear In mind that the children entrusted to 
us are not born under the rigours of the law, 
but under the merciful and fatherly discipline 
of the Gospel ? He who set us an example 
that we should follow his steps, took the infants 
in his arms, and blessed them, saying, " Suf- 
fer the little children to come unto me, and for- 



APPENDIX. 1G7 

bid them not, for of such Is the kingdom of 
heaven ;" (Mark x.) " He gathereih the lambs 
with his arm, and carrieth them in his bosom." 
(Isa. xl. 11.) May not these beautiful passa- 
ges be applied to the subject before us as pa- 
thetically describing the love, the care, the 
compassion and tenderness required of us, and 
so greatly needed by the helplessness, the de- 
pendence, the infirmities, and wrong tempers of 
childhood ? 

It is not impossible, that some who are en- 
gaged in the care of children, may be discour- 
aged by what has here been insisted upon. 
They may be tempted to say, " If these be the 
duties incumbent upon us, how can we be suf- 
ficient for them ?" Let such, however, remem- 
ber that nothing unreasonable is required of 
them ; that they will have to render an account 
only in proportion to the talents committed to 
their trust. It is, also, encouraging to observe 
how often characters of small powers, under 
good regulation, are rendered instruments of 
great, though inconspicuous usefulness. A 
young woman, inexperienced, and of moderate 



168 APPENDIX. 

talents, may undertake a situation in a nursery ; 
but, if she bring with her the foundation of re- 
ligious principle ; a heart given up to her em- 
ployment ; a sense of her own deficiency ; and 
a wish to improve ; there is every reason to ex- 
pect, that under good instruction, she will be- 
come, a valuable servant. 

We must all, indeed^ in every situation, be 
prepared to fall short of that to which we desire 
to attain ; but we are not to lower the standard 
of true excellence to our own imperfection. — 
Rather should we, notwithstanding every dis- 
couragement, be constantly '' pressing toward 
the mark set before us ;" bearing in mind a just 
sense of the duties required of us, and perform- 
ing them to the utmost of our ability. Then — 
whether this ability be less or greater — we have 
every reason to hope, that a blessing will attend 
our endeavours ; for no uncommon powers, no 
extraordinary efforts, no new systems, are need- 
ed in the management of children ; but the dili- 
gent, patient, persevering exercise of good prin- 
ciple, good temper, and ordinary good sense. 

THE END. 



